exhausted

Well I ended up working. I got called in at around 5 and worked til almost 12:30am. It took me awhile to get to sleep due to coughing a bunch. Woke up at 5 from a terrible nightmare that someone hurt my dog Tipper. Took alittle while to get back to sleep and woke up around 7:45. I am so frickin exhausted. This defiately kicked my ass especially after being so sick. I am on back up so I wont work like that again unless there is mass Kaos. I hope not on that one.
I got to work yesterday and was looking at the board to see where I was working, preop or recovery and I wasnt on the board. I didnt realize I was off. I am torn. I need to get caught up on some paperwork at work. I could go in for alittle while and get paid inservice time which would give me some extra hours in case we are slow and get sent home which is likely. So maybe I will get up and go work out, a light workout and go in to do some inservice time. Just a couple of hours. Undecided. Need to work on my house, maybe I can do all 3. We shall see how I feel. I need to push myself but dont want to relapse.
I watched that movie the Notebook. I just love that movie. Fall in love with the main characters. The guy in it is so dreamy and want to get lost in his eyes. I cry everytime. I want love like that. Crazy Crazy heart felt love. Cant get enough of each other love. I feel like there is real heart felt love in my relationship with JJ. It made me miss him so much and cant wait for my future with him. I am so frickin ready. Its the inbetween stuff that is so hard right now. Sometimes it feels like I am never going to get there. One step forward and One step back. Its such a constant because of my house. Its such a hinderance right now to me. Its standing in the way of my future. I am just not thinking very positive right now. I guess because I am so tire today. I just feel down right now and overwhelmed. I will get it back together but it will take time. Sucks to feel like this when I know I have an exciting future coming up. Oh well this to shall pass.