Today is Friday and Jason flew back last nite thru the crazy storms from el paso to Phoenix. Phoenix got hit hard last nite w/ 85mile/hr winds that pulled trees up, pulled roofs off buildings, snapped trees, and caused major flooding. Crazy. I was so thankful that he got there safe and sound. He got to his apartment last nite at 11pm and no electricity. I guess there are still people w/ out electricity.
As soon as I get off work I am heading on down to the big city. I am ready to go have fun. Tonight for both of us it will be low key. Dinner and a couple of drinks. And then off to fun in the sun. I am also looking forward to the pool and jacuzzi tonight. My neck and shoulder muscles are so tight and just hurt. Some surrender the booty as his sheets says sounds like another great stress reliever. I have missed him big time.
Well hope all have a wonderful weekend!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
1 more day
1 more day til I see my honey again. I cant wait. He should hopefully get on the plane at 6 and arrive in Phoenix about the same time. I will get to go pick him up at the airport. I am excited. I hope his flight goes as well as it did going.
I am ready to start the weekend. I will get thru work tomorrow and then off to Phoenix. Woohoo for fun. I just hope it goes according to plan. Because today did not for him.
I told him last nite about Dido's beer tasting squarre next weekend and he was excited about coming up here so that weekend so we could hang out and have some fun.
I am going back to weight watchers tonight. Its been a while. Since the beginning of July. It will be interesting to see how the scale at work, which is digital compares to theirs. I will check the one at work tomorrow.
I guess I am going to go vacumn and get that out of the way. Got to decide on dinner. Pack. I did my laundry last nite and dried the second load this morning.
It will be warm for sure.
Today at work, this guy always changes the screen savers thru google images and so today we put Newport beach pics on all the monitors. It made me so excited to know I am going to be there. It will be cool there but as long as I can sit on a blanket and rub lotion and just hang, then that will be the bomb. I am going to wear my one piece again this weekend. Get some use out of it! Woohoo!
I'll be back!
I am ready to start the weekend. I will get thru work tomorrow and then off to Phoenix. Woohoo for fun. I just hope it goes according to plan. Because today did not for him.
I told him last nite about Dido's beer tasting squarre next weekend and he was excited about coming up here so that weekend so we could hang out and have some fun.
I am going back to weight watchers tonight. Its been a while. Since the beginning of July. It will be interesting to see how the scale at work, which is digital compares to theirs. I will check the one at work tomorrow.
I guess I am going to go vacumn and get that out of the way. Got to decide on dinner. Pack. I did my laundry last nite and dried the second load this morning.
It will be warm for sure.
Today at work, this guy always changes the screen savers thru google images and so today we put Newport beach pics on all the monitors. It made me so excited to know I am going to be there. It will be cool there but as long as I can sit on a blanket and rub lotion and just hang, then that will be the bomb. I am going to wear my one piece again this weekend. Get some use out of it! Woohoo!
I'll be back!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Did it
Well I did it, I shoveled all the rock to the other areas with rock. That took several hours but I did it.
I then went on to Counseling and she scheduled me for 2 weeks out. She thinks I am doing well. I think I am doing well.
I did go work out and then went out w/ Dido for a couple of beers and train shots. I ate some dinner and saved 1/2 or more then 1/2 for tomorrow. I then decided on the way home to stop and have another beer and a shot of yager. I just felt like it.
About 1 to 2 this afternoon JJ calls me and tells me I dont what I got myself into and he tells me they asked if he wanted to go to Las Cruses, NM. He said sure. He is tryiing to do the out 0f town stuff so maybe he can come up here for some jobs and him and I could see each other during the week. But instead NM. He left around 4:30 and now is there. He calls me laughing telling me that he has cow shit between his toes. Too funny. He flew into El Paso via South west. He will call me once he is at his hotel. So I can say good nite.
I cant wait to see him on Friday.
I dont think I mentioned, I ran across her my space page, and it said Storms moving on his loss. Today it says He prefers grey bush, his perogative, lol. She is a very foul mouth bitch. I am so glad he has moved on and we are together. She doesnt have a clue about life or anything. She is 23 years old and going to school and working. He doesnt go on his myspace much at all. W/ Jr being on there alot, he doesnt want anything to do w/ it. This tells me alot by looking at her page. I am not stupid and naive. I am watching things to know where I stand. And he is with me not her, she cant handle it. Mind you he shouldnt have been with her to start with but thats okay at lease I know its over. He is truely w/ me and I am with him. We are talking about our future.
I cant wait to see him on Friday and get away for our weekend. He is already planning on coming up the following weekend so we can hang out and go to Dido's beer sqaure. Its so funny he is in NM. Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I then went on to Counseling and she scheduled me for 2 weeks out. She thinks I am doing well. I think I am doing well.
I did go work out and then went out w/ Dido for a couple of beers and train shots. I ate some dinner and saved 1/2 or more then 1/2 for tomorrow. I then decided on the way home to stop and have another beer and a shot of yager. I just felt like it.
About 1 to 2 this afternoon JJ calls me and tells me I dont what I got myself into and he tells me they asked if he wanted to go to Las Cruses, NM. He said sure. He is tryiing to do the out 0f town stuff so maybe he can come up here for some jobs and him and I could see each other during the week. But instead NM. He left around 4:30 and now is there. He calls me laughing telling me that he has cow shit between his toes. Too funny. He flew into El Paso via South west. He will call me once he is at his hotel. So I can say good nite.
I cant wait to see him on Friday.
I dont think I mentioned, I ran across her my space page, and it said Storms moving on his loss. Today it says He prefers grey bush, his perogative, lol. She is a very foul mouth bitch. I am so glad he has moved on and we are together. She doesnt have a clue about life or anything. She is 23 years old and going to school and working. He doesnt go on his myspace much at all. W/ Jr being on there alot, he doesnt want anything to do w/ it. This tells me alot by looking at her page. I am not stupid and naive. I am watching things to know where I stand. And he is with me not her, she cant handle it. Mind you he shouldnt have been with her to start with but thats okay at lease I know its over. He is truely w/ me and I am with him. We are talking about our future.
I cant wait to see him on Friday and get away for our weekend. He is already planning on coming up the following weekend so we can hang out and go to Dido's beer sqaure. Its so funny he is in NM. Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Contemplating
I am contemplating on what to do today. I have already got to enjoy my coffee and sitting for a few.
I am letting go of the heavy stuff that has been taking up alot of emotions. I am ready to let go of some weight on my shoulders that I have been carrying. I have counseling today. Oh that reminds me I have to get approval for this from insurance as far as them paying. My free 6 visits are done and I told her it would last longer then 6.
I feel good about the future!
My horoscope says I need to do some housekeeping, move forward w/ projects that have been stagnating. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, does that mean the yard.
Oh I can post pics of my yard and the progress which looks like none really but really there has been. Got to find my camera and download pics.
Okay here a few pics of the yard:
The Before
The next step, bushes
I am so glad I can do pics again. Especially with fall coming soon and winter. This will be my last fall and winter living here and I want to enjoy it to the fullest. That is on my list of things to do. And go to Phoenix for the winter get aways. The best of both worlds!!!!
So anyway on my list:
1) shovel rock
2) pull weeds or just wait til I can the tiller and till it all up.
3) fill in prarie dog holes, my neighbor, P had put rat poisoning blocks in the holes and they must have been eating because the dogs are gone!!!!! The dogs are gone.
4) Inside the house, shred papers to clear the floor.
5) Do laundry but I need to run to the store, Dont feel like driving into town, but it needs to be done.
6) vacumn
I think there is too much here. I have counseling at 3 and then jazz at 4:15. Maybe if I do alittle of each. There you go. I solved my problem. LOL.
Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive. I appreciate it big time!
I am letting go of the heavy stuff that has been taking up alot of emotions. I am ready to let go of some weight on my shoulders that I have been carrying. I have counseling today. Oh that reminds me I have to get approval for this from insurance as far as them paying. My free 6 visits are done and I told her it would last longer then 6.
I feel good about the future!
My horoscope says I need to do some housekeeping, move forward w/ projects that have been stagnating. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, does that mean the yard.
Oh I can post pics of my yard and the progress which looks like none really but really there has been. Got to find my camera and download pics.
Okay here a few pics of the yard:
The Before
The next step, bushes
I am so glad I can do pics again. Especially with fall coming soon and winter. This will be my last fall and winter living here and I want to enjoy it to the fullest. That is on my list of things to do. And go to Phoenix for the winter get aways. The best of both worlds!!!!
So anyway on my list:
1) shovel rock
2) pull weeds or just wait til I can the tiller and till it all up.
3) fill in prarie dog holes, my neighbor, P had put rat poisoning blocks in the holes and they must have been eating because the dogs are gone!!!!! The dogs are gone.
4) Inside the house, shred papers to clear the floor.
5) Do laundry but I need to run to the store, Dont feel like driving into town, but it needs to be done.
6) vacumn
I think there is too much here. I have counseling at 3 and then jazz at 4:15. Maybe if I do alittle of each. There you go. I solved my problem. LOL.
Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive. I appreciate it big time!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Woohoo its my Friday, almost
I am excited I am going to Phoenix and Cal this weekend. We are going to enjoy time to ourselves on Friday and get up early to get the girls on Sat. We need some time to ourselves big time. Need time to catch up on intimate time together. Beens to long. They have Oregano's and Buffalo Wild wings so maybe we can check them out there. That would be fun. I dont know if I mentioned it or not, he has sheets that are pirate sheets and reads Surrender the booty. Oh yeah there will be some surrendering. No doubt! Makes me excited just thinking about it.
Going on Yahoo messenger for the web cam and microphone is still wierd. But at lease we get to see each other and that is good. It really helps!
Today was so busy. I was exhausted big time when I left work. I did come home and start working on the yard. About to go shovel rock now. At lease a little is better then nothing. I decided the only way I am going to get rid of the growth of weeds, etc is to till up the yard and rake the stuff into piles to get rid of. Alot of work. It feels good to work out. I did weigh myself and lost 1.3lbs more. Almost up to 27lbs.
I decided I am coming back to Lubbock the 1st week of Oct. I am coming in on Sunday and leaving that Thursday. I think its like the 5th. This way I can hang out in Phoenix Friday nite to Sunday and then Thursday thru Sunday spend time in Phoenix. Pool time and all before and after. That is part of my birthday gift to my mom. She wants to go shopping and go out to eat and play bingo and spend time together. See their new pup.
I also want to see my friends such as you Biker and hotrod and Sheil. I will probably go out to dinner with Sheil and people from work that week. I will figure it out. I am thinking of renting a car while I am there so I dont have to be dependent on my parents if you know what I mean.
It will be nice to see everyone.
Well off to shovel rock and make some progress. Woohoo for progress.
Going on Yahoo messenger for the web cam and microphone is still wierd. But at lease we get to see each other and that is good. It really helps!
Today was so busy. I was exhausted big time when I left work. I did come home and start working on the yard. About to go shovel rock now. At lease a little is better then nothing. I decided the only way I am going to get rid of the growth of weeds, etc is to till up the yard and rake the stuff into piles to get rid of. Alot of work. It feels good to work out. I did weigh myself and lost 1.3lbs more. Almost up to 27lbs.
I decided I am coming back to Lubbock the 1st week of Oct. I am coming in on Sunday and leaving that Thursday. I think its like the 5th. This way I can hang out in Phoenix Friday nite to Sunday and then Thursday thru Sunday spend time in Phoenix. Pool time and all before and after. That is part of my birthday gift to my mom. She wants to go shopping and go out to eat and play bingo and spend time together. See their new pup.
I also want to see my friends such as you Biker and hotrod and Sheil. I will probably go out to dinner with Sheil and people from work that week. I will figure it out. I am thinking of renting a car while I am there so I dont have to be dependent on my parents if you know what I mean.
It will be nice to see everyone.
Well off to shovel rock and make some progress. Woohoo for progress.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Home
I am home. I stopped on the way home and bought milk,eggs, & yogurt. Then was thinking what am I going to do for dinner. I bought the store's premade sushi. It was delisc. I was just in the mood. It was perfect and some ice cream. Absolutely perfect.
I called my honey and he is cracking me up. He is checking out several places w/ in a mile of his house and seeing what they are like, prices of beer, and if they have the sunday ticket for football, so far, none. I asked did he find one that he liked, he said nope, they all sucked. We talk for a few more and as he was haning up, he says, "I love you" I love him too. I really want this to work out. He truely is so sincere when he says it. Its just not lip service. He will defiately miss me more. We have to work at seeing each other and being together. No doubt about it.
So off to get ready for work and get some sleep. I can say that both nights I did get some good sleep. Especially Friday nite. OMG, I was exhausted! Sleeping in til 8:30am. Nice. I am looking forward to Wednesday when I dont have to get up early! Nice!
I called my honey and he is cracking me up. He is checking out several places w/ in a mile of his house and seeing what they are like, prices of beer, and if they have the sunday ticket for football, so far, none. I asked did he find one that he liked, he said nope, they all sucked. We talk for a few more and as he was haning up, he says, "I love you" I love him too. I really want this to work out. He truely is so sincere when he says it. Its just not lip service. He will defiately miss me more. We have to work at seeing each other and being together. No doubt about it.
So off to get ready for work and get some sleep. I can say that both nights I did get some good sleep. Especially Friday nite. OMG, I was exhausted! Sleeping in til 8:30am. Nice. I am looking forward to Wednesday when I dont have to get up early! Nice!
Back and at work
Headed back this am and came straight to work. We had a very nice weekend together. JJ's place is very nice. They were corporate apartments. So it was very nice, the pool and jacuzzi is very nice and felt great. We went and got what he needed for his place at big lots. He did really well. Went grocery shopping and other shopping. Got back and went and hung out at the pool and jacuzzi for a little while. It felt so great. We went on Friday and Sat and tried the mexican food resturant and wings place across the street. They were okay. Stayed up and watched an old movie w/ michael douglas. Its where he is in traffic and leaves his car to walk home to get to his daughter's birthday party and all kinds of things happen along the way. Crazy crazy. It was actually pretty good. Crashed after that. Tired.
I got up this am and didnt have to leave til 8:30 to get back here for 11am. I got to work at 10:40. So it worked out well. Work has actually gone by pretty quickly.
I was really sad when I headed down there. I thought I would be coming back but I wasnt near as sad. I am doing well. We talked about our future which was comforting.
I really think things will work out well. It will be nice to have a get away in the winter when the weather sucks here. So all in all life is good.
I will be glad when work is over today. At lease I am making time and a half today so it makes it worth it.
Next weekend we are going to Cal for the weekend and go to the beach and hopefully an angels game. Woohoo. Beach and ocean time!
I got up this am and didnt have to leave til 8:30 to get back here for 11am. I got to work at 10:40. So it worked out well. Work has actually gone by pretty quickly.
I was really sad when I headed down there. I thought I would be coming back but I wasnt near as sad. I am doing well. We talked about our future which was comforting.
I really think things will work out well. It will be nice to have a get away in the winter when the weather sucks here. So all in all life is good.
I will be glad when work is over today. At lease I am making time and a half today so it makes it worth it.
Next weekend we are going to Cal for the weekend and go to the beach and hopefully an angels game. Woohoo. Beach and ocean time!
Friday, August 22, 2008
today is the day
It is the day JJ moves to phoenix. I have such mixed feelings. I am happy for him to be more involved in his girls lives but then I am sad that he will be there and not here. Maybe in the long run this is for the better because he will miss me more and I him.
Hopefully I can get off early today from work so I can either follow him down there and meet shortly after to see his new place and help move his stuff in. We will have a fun weekend. We are taking the girls out for dinner tonight and hopefully the jacuzzi is working. It would be a nice way of relaxing tonight.
Well back to busy busy couple of hours.
Hopefully I can get off early today from work so I can either follow him down there and meet shortly after to see his new place and help move his stuff in. We will have a fun weekend. We are taking the girls out for dinner tonight and hopefully the jacuzzi is working. It would be a nice way of relaxing tonight.
Well back to busy busy couple of hours.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Good and Bad
Yesterday was good and then was bad. We went out and had a nice dinner and beers at buffalo wild wings. played trivia. Then we headed back to his place and I just got really sad. He wanted to be alone to do some of the packing because of some of it being Jr's. Its just hard letting him have his time. But got up this am, got breakfast and headed over there. And it was all good. Had a really nice morning working on his apartment. Listen to music. Threw so much stuff away. Helped him clean the fridge and stove. I dont do ovens. I didnt do the oven just the outside. That helped him alot. He took me out to lunch. I wanted pizza from this place Roma's pizza. Yummy. 2 huge slices and a drink $5.75. and I do mean huge. Went back to his place and showed him how to use my vacumn and shampoer to do his rugs tomorrow.
Some one is coming over to pick up the bedroom suit on Friday so after court he will go ahead and meet up with the driver and pack it up. Done! And then he's off to Phoenix. We did have a nice talk about whats going on and plans. Once I get off work I am heading down to Phoenix and go meet him at his new apartment. Then get the girls for the weekend. I will have to get up early Sunday and come back for work at 10am. Oh well, thats alright, thats time and a half money.
But for tonight I am going back to his place and we are going to go see Reckless Kelly. Sounds like Steve earle alittle. They are playing at the Orpheum. It will be cheap and something fun for us to go do. I will just stay at his place since I have to work at 6am. My last time to stay there before he moves. Wow, bummer.
I slept like crap, I did drink several shots of yager and a few beers. I woke up at 2am and couldnt go back to sleep til 4 and then woke up at 6.
So its now time for a Letera as JJ calls it, a nap. I will feel much better. Hope all are well!
Some one is coming over to pick up the bedroom suit on Friday so after court he will go ahead and meet up with the driver and pack it up. Done! And then he's off to Phoenix. We did have a nice talk about whats going on and plans. Once I get off work I am heading down to Phoenix and go meet him at his new apartment. Then get the girls for the weekend. I will have to get up early Sunday and come back for work at 10am. Oh well, thats alright, thats time and a half money.
But for tonight I am going back to his place and we are going to go see Reckless Kelly. Sounds like Steve earle alittle. They are playing at the Orpheum. It will be cheap and something fun for us to go do. I will just stay at his place since I have to work at 6am. My last time to stay there before he moves. Wow, bummer.
I slept like crap, I did drink several shots of yager and a few beers. I woke up at 2am and couldnt go back to sleep til 4 and then woke up at 6.
So its now time for a Letera as JJ calls it, a nap. I will feel much better. Hope all are well!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
We'll see what happens
Well they came and looked at it and liked it. I saw the guy at work today and he said they liked it, they didnt like the front room but all the houses they are looking at have that. They like the yard, the size, they like that my house is big and they like how high the ceilings are. They are going next week to find out how much they can burrow. So we shall see. I am not counting on anything.
JJ went to court to speak about not lowering the bail and they have a continuince, dont how to spell. So far the one for Friday is still on. Hena, jr's mom is supposely coming in, we will see. But if she comes in, jj will take her to phoenix and take her to bus station to go back. She keeps telling him how her electricity is getting turned off, blah blah blah. I said what does she expect from you.
I have counseling today at 3pm and then meeting up w/ jj to go to our favorite place and eat wings and drink beer and do yeager shots. I am looking forward to hanging out.
Well back to work.
JJ went to court to speak about not lowering the bail and they have a continuince, dont how to spell. So far the one for Friday is still on. Hena, jr's mom is supposely coming in, we will see. But if she comes in, jj will take her to phoenix and take her to bus station to go back. She keeps telling him how her electricity is getting turned off, blah blah blah. I said what does she expect from you.
I have counseling today at 3pm and then meeting up w/ jj to go to our favorite place and eat wings and drink beer and do yeager shots. I am looking forward to hanging out.
Well back to work.
Monday, August 18, 2008
exciting
The guy who wants to see my house is coming to see it tonight and if they like it he might want to push for buying my house soon. It could be that I sell sooner and move to phoenix. JJ and I talked about it and he is excited that might happen. So keep your fingers cross for me.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Love the webcam
Okay got it hooked up, and JJ got his computer and web cam working under yahoo.com. Its so kool how we are able to talk on the computer w/o using the phone and can see each other. My mom and dad are on yahoo also so they are going to hook it back up. So then I will able to see them more. This will be a perfect solution to seeing each other everyday with out seeing each other in person.
Today has been a very nice day. I have laughed so much today with JJ. I have hardly talked to anyone else today. Just us time. Which is nice. I feel good about us. Thats hugh right now.
I did work on putting clothes away and fit back into a pair of smaller jeans I wore when I met JJ. I am also fitting into this one piece speedo I bought at Sams when I was going to Belize. Fits better now. It is so encouraging to keep going in the right direction of losing weight. I will just keep looking better, thats exciting. Not this week but the following week I will be going back to weight watchers and the meetings. I will need it and have time for it. Also working out. I am excited about my time to myself during the week for the most part and then play time on the weekends. Going to Phoenix will be a perfect get away in the winter months for sure.
I am truely feeling excited about my future again and hopeful. Just feels right and things are going in the right direction with JJ and myself.
Well off to do whatever.
Today has been a very nice day. I have laughed so much today with JJ. I have hardly talked to anyone else today. Just us time. Which is nice. I feel good about us. Thats hugh right now.
I did work on putting clothes away and fit back into a pair of smaller jeans I wore when I met JJ. I am also fitting into this one piece speedo I bought at Sams when I was going to Belize. Fits better now. It is so encouraging to keep going in the right direction of losing weight. I will just keep looking better, thats exciting. Not this week but the following week I will be going back to weight watchers and the meetings. I will need it and have time for it. Also working out. I am excited about my time to myself during the week for the most part and then play time on the weekends. Going to Phoenix will be a perfect get away in the winter months for sure.
I am truely feeling excited about my future again and hopeful. Just feels right and things are going in the right direction with JJ and myself.
Well off to do whatever.
My favorite Day!
I know I use this title on Sundays its just because it truely is my favorite day. I love waking up and just enjoying my coffee.
The weekend turned out to be good. I did get called in Early Sat am at 1:30 and got done at 3:30 w/ another 3 1/2hours to go on call and there was a case to go but was going to take a long time. So I went and slept at JJ's and when I woke up JJ went and got us breakfast from Carl's jr. Their breakfast burger is very yummy. I cant ever eat it all but yummy just the same. We slept in a little longer and then got up and got some stuff done prior to meeting up for the movie StepBrother. It was pretty funny. At one point I was laughing so hard I started crying. Then went on to Williams for the car show and maybe we should have skipped the movie to go to the car show. We headed over to Williams and It was storming. It was raining when we were getting off the interstate. And guess who we see under the over past with their bikes is my ex and his wife w/ their bikes. As we turned Left to go under the overpast the ex looks right at me. In fact JJ is the one who recgonized him, not me. As we past them JJ goes he looks old. I said yup. I said this is a reason I am ready to leave this town so I dont have to run into them. Fucker. Sorry for the added word there.
Anyway we proceed to drive in and the weather is getting worse. We find a parking space and head over to Cruisers, oldies style place. Have a smoker outside and they smoke meat and grill. So we find a booth and watch the sports on tv and the weather is getting worse and then there is hail, because mind you it got cold. And then there was this lightning and loud thunder and the electricity goes out. Its pouring hard. Well aparently the lightning struck this place Saldana's, local bar, and that was close.
We order a couple of beers, they have a microbrewery, Grand Canyon brew or something like that, I tried their Rasperry Wheat. It was okay, sorry it breaks the man laws, no fruit in beer, but something about that combo. The service was pretty crappy actual and the food wasnt that great but the company was good. It cost us $50.00. To much for what we got. We decide to venture out, get rained on and head over to the Canyon club for a beer. We had fun reading the stickers. Lots of them. We head back to the house and kick back and watch Weeds. I have serveral episodes for us to watch, love Tivo.
We were in bed by 9. We were so tired. JJ wanted to get up around 7am. He was going to start packing and cleaning his apartment. We woke up around 5:30. He pulled his back out of wack so I pushed on it to help relieve the pain, it worked, and then other things popped up. You have to love a morning woody as they call it. Great way to get the day started. Went back to sleep and got up around 7. I made us a couple of breakfast burritos. And now he is back to his place. Me to myself. I am good with that.
I need to work on this house and bag up the weeds I pulled the other day. I need to do some cleaning so if the guy from work calls and wants to come over with his wife to see the house I want it to be somewhat clean. You know. 1st impression. I did finally sweep the front porch off and put a new mat that I got from World market, I even trimmed back the buses off the walk way to make it look neater. I hope this all works out, because it would show it was meant to be in my future, you know.
JJ and I talked about moving him down to phoenix next weekend and he wants to get the girls Friday which thats cool that way we can have a nice family weekend.
We also talked about going to Cal Labor Day weekend and spending the time at the beach. Take the girls and his brothers girls and either go to Huntington or go back to Newport Beach. We could sleep in his van at one of his brother's house so that we can save money. One of his brothers has a motor home in the driveway. The girls would stay with their cousins probably and so it would be a wonderful weekend. I am off that Tuesday also so I could take my time heading back up the mountain.
Since I have posted this I met JJ up at Best Buy. He finally bought a new lap top. Very nice. It has a microphone and web cam built in. So I bought a webcam w/ a microphone so we can see each other while he is living down there. One way of us seeing each other without being able to be together. That will be a big help. So I am excited and feel less stressed over how we are going to do when he lives there and I am here. But like I said if its meant to be, it will be.
Well time to install the new toy.
The weekend turned out to be good. I did get called in Early Sat am at 1:30 and got done at 3:30 w/ another 3 1/2hours to go on call and there was a case to go but was going to take a long time. So I went and slept at JJ's and when I woke up JJ went and got us breakfast from Carl's jr. Their breakfast burger is very yummy. I cant ever eat it all but yummy just the same. We slept in a little longer and then got up and got some stuff done prior to meeting up for the movie StepBrother. It was pretty funny. At one point I was laughing so hard I started crying. Then went on to Williams for the car show and maybe we should have skipped the movie to go to the car show. We headed over to Williams and It was storming. It was raining when we were getting off the interstate. And guess who we see under the over past with their bikes is my ex and his wife w/ their bikes. As we turned Left to go under the overpast the ex looks right at me. In fact JJ is the one who recgonized him, not me. As we past them JJ goes he looks old. I said yup. I said this is a reason I am ready to leave this town so I dont have to run into them. Fucker. Sorry for the added word there.
Anyway we proceed to drive in and the weather is getting worse. We find a parking space and head over to Cruisers, oldies style place. Have a smoker outside and they smoke meat and grill. So we find a booth and watch the sports on tv and the weather is getting worse and then there is hail, because mind you it got cold. And then there was this lightning and loud thunder and the electricity goes out. Its pouring hard. Well aparently the lightning struck this place Saldana's, local bar, and that was close.
We order a couple of beers, they have a microbrewery, Grand Canyon brew or something like that, I tried their Rasperry Wheat. It was okay, sorry it breaks the man laws, no fruit in beer, but something about that combo. The service was pretty crappy actual and the food wasnt that great but the company was good. It cost us $50.00. To much for what we got. We decide to venture out, get rained on and head over to the Canyon club for a beer. We had fun reading the stickers. Lots of them. We head back to the house and kick back and watch Weeds. I have serveral episodes for us to watch, love Tivo.
We were in bed by 9. We were so tired. JJ wanted to get up around 7am. He was going to start packing and cleaning his apartment. We woke up around 5:30. He pulled his back out of wack so I pushed on it to help relieve the pain, it worked, and then other things popped up. You have to love a morning woody as they call it. Great way to get the day started. Went back to sleep and got up around 7. I made us a couple of breakfast burritos. And now he is back to his place. Me to myself. I am good with that.
I need to work on this house and bag up the weeds I pulled the other day. I need to do some cleaning so if the guy from work calls and wants to come over with his wife to see the house I want it to be somewhat clean. You know. 1st impression. I did finally sweep the front porch off and put a new mat that I got from World market, I even trimmed back the buses off the walk way to make it look neater. I hope this all works out, because it would show it was meant to be in my future, you know.
JJ and I talked about moving him down to phoenix next weekend and he wants to get the girls Friday which thats cool that way we can have a nice family weekend.
We also talked about going to Cal Labor Day weekend and spending the time at the beach. Take the girls and his brothers girls and either go to Huntington or go back to Newport Beach. We could sleep in his van at one of his brother's house so that we can save money. One of his brothers has a motor home in the driveway. The girls would stay with their cousins probably and so it would be a wonderful weekend. I am off that Tuesday also so I could take my time heading back up the mountain.
Since I have posted this I met JJ up at Best Buy. He finally bought a new lap top. Very nice. It has a microphone and web cam built in. So I bought a webcam w/ a microphone so we can see each other while he is living down there. One way of us seeing each other without being able to be together. That will be a big help. So I am excited and feel less stressed over how we are going to do when he lives there and I am here. But like I said if its meant to be, it will be.
Well time to install the new toy.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Friday Evening
I am home and its storming. Its great. I got off from work, met up w/ JJ and hung out for a few and enjoy a few intimate moments. Then he took off to meet up with people from work and a couple other friends. Not her. She wasnt invited.
We will have our time this weekend of having fun. He has already called to see how I was and what I was doing. That was kool he was thinking about me.
I am on call and am going to be a bum. If I get called and its the middle of the night then I will just head to JJ's place and crash til the morning. Then get up and go home, take a shower, and get ready for the weekend.
I weighted myself, another 3.5lbs gone, for a total of 25.5lbs now. That is fuckin Awesome. I am just keeping on track. Once next week is over and JJ is in Phoenix then I will go back to Weight watchers and the meetings, etc to keep on going. I havent weighted this amount in years. I cant wait to see how far I can go. Love it. Makes me proud of myself and I feel better. Not as short of breathe, etc. Sex is defiately better. So onwards and downwards instead of upwards. lol
Well off to watch a movie, I bought Batman the beginning or something like that. The 1st one. Great movie!
We will have our time this weekend of having fun. He has already called to see how I was and what I was doing. That was kool he was thinking about me.
I am on call and am going to be a bum. If I get called and its the middle of the night then I will just head to JJ's place and crash til the morning. Then get up and go home, take a shower, and get ready for the weekend.
I weighted myself, another 3.5lbs gone, for a total of 25.5lbs now. That is fuckin Awesome. I am just keeping on track. Once next week is over and JJ is in Phoenix then I will go back to Weight watchers and the meetings, etc to keep on going. I havent weighted this amount in years. I cant wait to see how far I can go. Love it. Makes me proud of myself and I feel better. Not as short of breathe, etc. Sex is defiately better. So onwards and downwards instead of upwards. lol
Well off to watch a movie, I bought Batman the beginning or something like that. The 1st one. Great movie!
Tag I'm it
Okay I got tagged from Biker to do this. Should be a good one! lol
7 Things
7 things I plan to do before I die
1) Swim with the dolphins
2) Live near the ocean
3) Go to Paris...oh hell might as well say all of Europe...especially Paris and Amsterdam Sorry got that one from Biker. I especially want to go to Amsterdam!
4) Go scuba diving more
5) Get completely out of debt (sorry got that one from Biker)
6) go on a huge shopping spree and not have to think about $$
7) Just enjoying being me.
7 things I can do
1) Be a nurse
2) Enjoy life for the most part
3) Be a good friend
4) Be independent
5) Enjoy Tequilla
6) Landscape a yard
7) Scuba Dive
7 things I cannot do
1) Whistle...seriously it's not pretty when I try either!
2) always be patient
3) Play group sports, not for me.
4) Keep a clean house for long
5) Get on a ladder to reach any heights
6) Swim very well...yeah I know I can scuba dive but that's under the water and I have air, I can not swim correctly like you see all the olympians do where they put their head in the water and stuff...uh uh...I can't do that!
7) Anything position that counts on me using my shoulder to hold me up, hurts if I do that.
7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1) Body, bigger upper body and down to a small waist and great butt
2) Being friendly and sincere
3) Nice eyes
4) A nice smile
5) Intelligence (I can't stand a stupid man!)
6) Adventurous
7) Carry on a conversation
7 things I say most often
1) Wonderful
2) Fuckin asshole, not as much anymore since I am not married to my ex, lol
3) It is Storming
4) Fabulous (which I started saying more and more after hanging with STCG who says it all the time)
5) Fuck
6) Fucker
7) Damn it
7 celebrity crushes
1) John Travolta
2) Johnny Depp
3) Scott Stapp
4) Gerald Butler
5) The new 007, omg, he is so hot
6) Troy Aikman I have always loved Troy Aikman
7) Jason Witten (Dallas Cowboy, #82) Way to cute.
7 people who need to do this
1) Ciara
2) Fox in Detox
3) So A blonde walks into a blog
4) And anyone else who wants to
5)
6)
7)
Hope you enjoy doing it!
7 Things
7 things I plan to do before I die
1) Swim with the dolphins
2) Live near the ocean
3) Go to Paris...oh hell might as well say all of Europe...especially Paris and Amsterdam Sorry got that one from Biker. I especially want to go to Amsterdam!
4) Go scuba diving more
5) Get completely out of debt (sorry got that one from Biker)
6) go on a huge shopping spree and not have to think about $$
7) Just enjoying being me.
7 things I can do
1) Be a nurse
2) Enjoy life for the most part
3) Be a good friend
4) Be independent
5) Enjoy Tequilla
6) Landscape a yard
7) Scuba Dive
7 things I cannot do
1) Whistle...seriously it's not pretty when I try either!
2) always be patient
3) Play group sports, not for me.
4) Keep a clean house for long
5) Get on a ladder to reach any heights
6) Swim very well...yeah I know I can scuba dive but that's under the water and I have air, I can not swim correctly like you see all the olympians do where they put their head in the water and stuff...uh uh...I can't do that!
7) Anything position that counts on me using my shoulder to hold me up, hurts if I do that.
7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1) Body, bigger upper body and down to a small waist and great butt
2) Being friendly and sincere
3) Nice eyes
4) A nice smile
5) Intelligence (I can't stand a stupid man!)
6) Adventurous
7) Carry on a conversation
7 things I say most often
1) Wonderful
2) Fuckin asshole, not as much anymore since I am not married to my ex, lol
3) It is Storming
4) Fabulous (which I started saying more and more after hanging with STCG who says it all the time)
5) Fuck
6) Fucker
7) Damn it
7 celebrity crushes
1) John Travolta
2) Johnny Depp
3) Scott Stapp
4) Gerald Butler
5) The new 007, omg, he is so hot
6) Troy Aikman I have always loved Troy Aikman
7) Jason Witten (Dallas Cowboy, #82) Way to cute.
7 people who need to do this
1) Ciara
2) Fox in Detox
3) So A blonde walks into a blog
4) And anyone else who wants to
5)
6)
7)
Hope you enjoy doing it!
TGIF
Woohoo its Friday even though I am on call tonight I am still glad its Friday. Work will be okay. JJ and I will get to have weekend time together this weekend. Today is his last day being the budweiser delivery guy. His meeting was 2 hours last nite and then the guys kept talking to him and want to have a going away party for him tonight. He didnt get to my house til 8pm last nite, came over for dinner, and then he went back to town because one of his bosses called him to meet him at the bowling alley and a couple of the guys for a couple of beers. I was disappointed and he was almost not going to go but its his last day today so I said thats fine, we will just have time together this weekend. going to the movies and just hanging out together.
I cant believe a week from today he will be moving. I have so many mixed feelings but whatever is meant to be will be.
I did decide that since I will have the weekdays to myself once he moves I will take advantage of getting stuff done. Good motivator.
I need to go to the pharmacy today and get my steroid eye drops, my allergies are getting bad and since I still have to bag up the weeds I need to do this. I am excited about getting my yard done.
Hope all have a great Friday and weekend!
I cant believe a week from today he will be moving. I have so many mixed feelings but whatever is meant to be will be.
I did decide that since I will have the weekdays to myself once he moves I will take advantage of getting stuff done. Good motivator.
I need to go to the pharmacy today and get my steroid eye drops, my allergies are getting bad and since I still have to bag up the weeds I need to do this. I am excited about getting my yard done.
Hope all have a great Friday and weekend!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Good day
What an up and down week. Yesterday was pretty sucky but made me realize that when JJ goes to phoenix that this will be a good time for him to spend time by himself to figure out what he wants. Yesterday was his 3 year wedding anniversary to his wife that died. I was with him and was only staying for a few minutes and he just went into such a bad mood and didnt want to be w/ me or anyone. I left just upset. I headed to the bar by my house and the owner was there and we just hung out. She could tell I was upset and she let me cry and we just talked. She asked would a shot of patron help the situation I said I am sure. So by the time everything was said and done I had 3 tall alaskan ambers and 3 shots of patron. Woke up w/ a hang over at 3am and drank water. Couldnt sleep much and then the alarm went off at 4:30am. He must of called me several times over the course of the evening and then called this morning and was still planning on coming over when his meeting at 5 is over, its with the big wigs from Tucson. So hopefully it wont last longer then hour or so. I am making us dinner and we are just going to hang out. I decided that I am going to tell him lets make the most of the next week and then once he moves he will have plenty of time to himself to think. He will be out of the area so it will be easier for him to breathe and relax. He says he's better today. Got off work early which was nice. I got my tired checked and I had a screw in it so because I have the warranty they replaced it for free, good job. got grocery shopping done, and got my propane tank filled for the grill so I can cook chicken to go with the pasta. I also worked in my yard as long as I could. I got rid of my front door mat and had a new one this morning, swept the porch because some one had fun eating a bird and left all the features on my front door. Yuck. Looks better. Trimmed bushes and then started in the back yard picking up piles of rock and poop. I also had to pull weeds and wild sun flowers, w/ all the rain covered up my new bushes. I have some other weeds that the roots go deep so I guess when I till the back yard then I will be able get rid of them.
Oh good news the guy who is interested in looking at my house asked me if I would be interested in selling it sooner then April and dont do everything in the house I was going to do because they will change things if they like the house. So a couple of things I have left to do in the house will be what I will do unless he doesn't qualify for a loan. So I am keeping my fingers cross. Which means I could be moving here by February. Sucky time to move, winter for sure but thats alright, if its meant to be I will embrace it. By then like I said I will know if my destiny is Phoenix or Florida, I think. I hope Phoenix, I truely do.
So all in all it was a very productive day. I am now going to wash my sheets to get rid of the dog hair all over the bed so his allergies and mine dont go crazy. I am so looking forward to being with him and holding each other tonight. So off to start dinner and clean up my kitchen so I can cook.
Oh good news the guy who is interested in looking at my house asked me if I would be interested in selling it sooner then April and dont do everything in the house I was going to do because they will change things if they like the house. So a couple of things I have left to do in the house will be what I will do unless he doesn't qualify for a loan. So I am keeping my fingers cross. Which means I could be moving here by February. Sucky time to move, winter for sure but thats alright, if its meant to be I will embrace it. By then like I said I will know if my destiny is Phoenix or Florida, I think. I hope Phoenix, I truely do.
So all in all it was a very productive day. I am now going to wash my sheets to get rid of the dog hair all over the bed so his allergies and mine dont go crazy. I am so looking forward to being with him and holding each other tonight. So off to start dinner and clean up my kitchen so I can cook.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Doing good
Alot has happed since my last blog, what else is new? I had a good counseling session yesterday. It helped doing that before I saw him. Put me in a good place to face whatever is to be. Got done and went and recopied the poem so it looked batter. Then met up with him at his place. I was so happy to see him and he felt the same way. He loved the frame I put together of jr. Then we took care of business, loving business. Went out to lunch at Oregano's and talked. He did get his job back, found a studio apartment w/ 2 pools and a jacuzzi. Woohoo on that. And he is moving down there next Friday. When he left Shekei Sunday she cried. They miss their dad so much. He needs to be near them. Except for me he has alot of bad memories here. Too many reminders of what happen. Too much for anyone.
But any way next Friday when I get off work we are going to move his stuff in my van and car. Someone already took my call that sat, hoping someone might want my sunday hours but if not, its okay, I will just get up early and come back and go directly to work. No biggie. So we will have Friday nite alone in his new place and then Sat w/ the girls.
We talked about us and he wants us to be together and we will just take turns driving to see each other. So at lease now since he will see the girls more, then some of the weekends we can just have with each other. We are so close right now. He realized how much he missed me by being gone. So time will tell for sure. If by April when I put my house on the market we are doing good, then I will move to Phoenix and we will get a place together to rent. Start fresh. If not, then to the ocean I go. So time will tell. The counselor likes that I am just taking it as it comes and see what happens. Not strict and it has to be this way. I have my best friend back. He truely has become my best friend. And thats how it should be.
I did go work out today. I was proud of myself. I was driving towards to my side of town and there was chinese buffet. So I got a to go box. Got dog food and only ate enough to feel full. People are noticing that I am losing weight. I was so excited, a belt I bought from Lane Bryant a few years ago is too big. It hangs down. I went past the holes. Woohoo. Instead fit into a belt that I bought several years ago and it is fitting comfortably. I truely am making progress. I am proud of myself.
Well off to watch a little tv and off to bed. We didnt sleep good last nite, it was hot, and I dont know just couldnt sleep. Tonight will be a different story. I am going to sleep hard.
But any way next Friday when I get off work we are going to move his stuff in my van and car. Someone already took my call that sat, hoping someone might want my sunday hours but if not, its okay, I will just get up early and come back and go directly to work. No biggie. So we will have Friday nite alone in his new place and then Sat w/ the girls.
We talked about us and he wants us to be together and we will just take turns driving to see each other. So at lease now since he will see the girls more, then some of the weekends we can just have with each other. We are so close right now. He realized how much he missed me by being gone. So time will tell for sure. If by April when I put my house on the market we are doing good, then I will move to Phoenix and we will get a place together to rent. Start fresh. If not, then to the ocean I go. So time will tell. The counselor likes that I am just taking it as it comes and see what happens. Not strict and it has to be this way. I have my best friend back. He truely has become my best friend. And thats how it should be.
I did go work out today. I was proud of myself. I was driving towards to my side of town and there was chinese buffet. So I got a to go box. Got dog food and only ate enough to feel full. People are noticing that I am losing weight. I was so excited, a belt I bought from Lane Bryant a few years ago is too big. It hangs down. I went past the holes. Woohoo. Instead fit into a belt that I bought several years ago and it is fitting comfortably. I truely am making progress. I am proud of myself.
Well off to watch a little tv and off to bed. We didnt sleep good last nite, it was hot, and I dont know just couldnt sleep. Tonight will be a different story. I am going to sleep hard.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Today is the day
JJ is meeting w/ his old boss right now. I had alot of nervous energy this am. He is also looking at a couple of apartments down there. I told him we did this before and we could make this work again. He said yes we can. So he defiately helped calm me down some.
I already went under the bathroom sink and threw all this old cough medicine, etc away. I threw away the boxes from the towel rods I hung already. I need to do alittle more and then jump in the shower to head to town. I am going to pack a bag to take w/ me so if we decide to stay at his place tonight then I will be ready.
I need to go pay some bills today like water and bank loan. Get those out of the way. I have my counseling appt at noon. Should see JJ right after. Man I have said this already but I have missed him big time.
Well off to get more stuff done.
I already went under the bathroom sink and threw all this old cough medicine, etc away. I threw away the boxes from the towel rods I hung already. I need to do alittle more and then jump in the shower to head to town. I am going to pack a bag to take w/ me so if we decide to stay at his place tonight then I will be ready.
I need to go pay some bills today like water and bank loan. Get those out of the way. I have my counseling appt at noon. Should see JJ right after. Man I have said this already but I have missed him big time.
Well off to get more stuff done.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Done
I did it, got the mowing done. woohoo. That felt good to get done. In the morning I am going to work on the yard to move this progress along. I actually have gotten stuff done this weekend.
Movie got cancelled, dido on call and she has stuff to get done. I thanked her again for what they did for me yesterday.
I also decided that when I got in the shower to wash all the pollen and shit off of me I am taking out the glass door and putting a colorful shower curtain to go w/ what I have in there. Also look for window curtain for that room w/ a brown metal rod.
It feels good to get stuff done towards my ultimate goal.
So now I am having me a bloody mary and deciding if I am going to go see the new batman movie or stay home and watch Batman the beginning on blue ray and enjoy some down time. Its getting cloudy and dark out. More monsoons to come. Woohoo. Love it.
Breakfast and movie sounds good w/ a nice nap.
JJ is now in phoenix w/ the girls, or at lease Shekei. Sammy wanted to go to church. Not a 9 year old movie. Works out fine.
Hope all is well with everyone.
Movie got cancelled, dido on call and she has stuff to get done. I thanked her again for what they did for me yesterday.
I also decided that when I got in the shower to wash all the pollen and shit off of me I am taking out the glass door and putting a colorful shower curtain to go w/ what I have in there. Also look for window curtain for that room w/ a brown metal rod.
It feels good to get stuff done towards my ultimate goal.
So now I am having me a bloody mary and deciding if I am going to go see the new batman movie or stay home and watch Batman the beginning on blue ray and enjoy some down time. Its getting cloudy and dark out. More monsoons to come. Woohoo. Love it.
Breakfast and movie sounds good w/ a nice nap.
JJ is now in phoenix w/ the girls, or at lease Shekei. Sammy wanted to go to church. Not a 9 year old movie. Works out fine.
Hope all is well with everyone.
8am
Awaiting 8am to be here so I can go back out and mow the 2nd 1/2 of the land. The worst behind the fence due to the weeds being tall. I think I am going to have to cut down the talls one and then mow. With everything being wet its hard to get thru the jungle. Its so funny its that way in one place the back of the fence. It will feel good to take care of this. Go to the movies w/ dido. And then plans are open. Told Elly that I would like to come and see the bathroom she is painting.
I might go have wings and beer and play trivia at bw's.
The sun is shining and there are no clouds so far. Nice.
Spoke with my honey this morning. He just pasted the wind mills, lots of wind mills, in palm springs. Generates lots of electrical power. There are 100's of what I can see from the road. Pretty kool.
He is on his way to phoenix. 1 more day. I want to drive down there to be w/ him and the girls but I am not going to do it. I wasnt invited for one. Tomorrow will come soon enough. His friend told him yesterday that he could get on w/ budweiser there in cal. He was pretty sure he wasnt interested. He was ready to leave there and come back. I have missed him so much. I truely love him with all my heart. We are going to work it out. He received his one chance where everything is concerned and if it ever happens again I am out the door. The next 8 months will tell me alot before I move for sure. Anway I get to see JJ tomorrow and get a big ole hug.
I did get another towel rod up, 3 total so far. I have a long one and toilet paper holder up. They have 2 ends that require 2 nails in each end. Dont want to screw it up. I have to make sure it is level. I need to find my leveler. I am telling you I am acquiring a pretty good colection of tools for my tool box. Thats another thing I need to go thru and put together. I can finally get to it. I am pretty damn proud of myself. I have come far in 2 1/2 years. I am pretty independent. I need to remain that way for awhile. Protection mechanism.
Off to get dressed and start up the mower. I can go now and start cutting down the weeds.
I might go have wings and beer and play trivia at bw's.
The sun is shining and there are no clouds so far. Nice.
Spoke with my honey this morning. He just pasted the wind mills, lots of wind mills, in palm springs. Generates lots of electrical power. There are 100's of what I can see from the road. Pretty kool.
He is on his way to phoenix. 1 more day. I want to drive down there to be w/ him and the girls but I am not going to do it. I wasnt invited for one. Tomorrow will come soon enough. His friend told him yesterday that he could get on w/ budweiser there in cal. He was pretty sure he wasnt interested. He was ready to leave there and come back. I have missed him so much. I truely love him with all my heart. We are going to work it out. He received his one chance where everything is concerned and if it ever happens again I am out the door. The next 8 months will tell me alot before I move for sure. Anway I get to see JJ tomorrow and get a big ole hug.
I did get another towel rod up, 3 total so far. I have a long one and toilet paper holder up. They have 2 ends that require 2 nails in each end. Dont want to screw it up. I have to make sure it is level. I need to find my leveler. I am telling you I am acquiring a pretty good colection of tools for my tool box. Thats another thing I need to go thru and put together. I can finally get to it. I am pretty damn proud of myself. I have come far in 2 1/2 years. I am pretty independent. I need to remain that way for awhile. Protection mechanism.
Off to get dressed and start up the mower. I can go now and start cutting down the weeds.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
I did it
I got the battery charged, the mower going which was a feat in itself, and 1/2 the property mowed. Dido came by and away w/ the old dishwasher, tv, wood, metal poles, boxes, etc. It felt so good to get rid of all that. Made it easier to get to the boxes of stuff. Vacumned, cleared my counter and table off of paper and stuff. I also got 2 of the 4 towel rods up. I love it. It looks good. I also have to get the toilet paper holder on the wall and then that is done.
A storm is moving in that is going to be incredible. Its only 3:30 but feels like 7pm because it is getting so dark out and stormy.
I am drinking a 7&7 right now thinking about a movie tonight and popcorn if I have any.
JJ called earlier and we talked alittle and he does want to be with me and make us work. I am glad and happy about that. I want that too. I will be so glad when he gets home Monday. I cant wait for a big hug and other things.
I am glad I have counseling prior to seeing him which will be good.
I guess this will be my last blog for the day! lol.
A storm is moving in that is going to be incredible. Its only 3:30 but feels like 7pm because it is getting so dark out and stormy.
I am drinking a 7&7 right now thinking about a movie tonight and popcorn if I have any.
JJ called earlier and we talked alittle and he does want to be with me and make us work. I am glad and happy about that. I want that too. I will be so glad when he gets home Monday. I cant wait for a big hug and other things.
I am glad I have counseling prior to seeing him which will be good.
I guess this will be my last blog for the day! lol.
Charging
The battery is charging. Then I can mow. I am so ready to get this project done then I feel like I can move on to something else. Isnt that wierd. Its like I cant do anything else in the mean time. I am funny like that. I guess I multi-task at work so much that I dont want to when I am off from work.
Talk to my honey this morning. We both wanted to get up around 6am. He to go to the beach and meet up w/ k's mom and stepdad and me to mow. Whats wrong w/ this picture. lol. I told him I understand why he is moving to Phoenix and he said we'll talk about it. I said kool. He slept in his brother's yard in his van last nite. He said he slept good. I woke up on the couch at 1:30 this morning and went to bed. I feel hung over. I didnt even drink. Crazy. I just feel sluggish today.
This trip brings on more change. I have alot of change in my life but I guess as my blog is called Life is a constant change, there you go. I am going to try to relax over all this and take life one day at a time to see where my future lies next year. Of course I am thinking of options of all kinds.
Just talk to valeen in tx. She gave me a great bit of advise. She said you have a lot of goals, getting your house ready to put the house on the market. So if JJ is there thru it then he is and if he's not then you move on. I said I appreciate that bit of advise alot. And that is so true. I need to concentrate on what I have to get done. So there you go.
Talk to my honey this morning. We both wanted to get up around 6am. He to go to the beach and meet up w/ k's mom and stepdad and me to mow. Whats wrong w/ this picture. lol. I told him I understand why he is moving to Phoenix and he said we'll talk about it. I said kool. He slept in his brother's yard in his van last nite. He said he slept good. I woke up on the couch at 1:30 this morning and went to bed. I feel hung over. I didnt even drink. Crazy. I just feel sluggish today.
This trip brings on more change. I have alot of change in my life but I guess as my blog is called Life is a constant change, there you go. I am going to try to relax over all this and take life one day at a time to see where my future lies next year. Of course I am thinking of options of all kinds.
Just talk to valeen in tx. She gave me a great bit of advise. She said you have a lot of goals, getting your house ready to put the house on the market. So if JJ is there thru it then he is and if he's not then you move on. I said I appreciate that bit of advise alot. And that is so true. I need to concentrate on what I have to get done. So there you go.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Woohoo its Friday nite!
I am so glad its the weekend. I am off til Tuesday am. I did get my hair done yesterday and that was wonderful. My hairdresser wasnt there but it was still hard talking to the other girls because we are all so sad over the losses. But got thru it.
I miss my man. He told me he has a meeting w/ his old boss about getting his job back. So it looks like Phoenix will be it. I did text him this morning and asked if we would be alright, he texted back and said of course silly ass. He has called me several times and he tells me he misses me and cant wait to see me on Monday. Me to. He has gotten to hang out w/ his family alot so that is good. He is going to the beach early in the am and then meeting up w/ k's mom and stepdad. He is coming back on Sunday to meet up w/ the girls and then stay over nite in Phoenix. He is also going to come back up here and meet w/ his boss here. I dont blame him for moving back to phoenix. Too many bad memories.
So I guess if we are meant to be and work it out then by April I will know if I am moving to phoenix or not. I do hope so. I love this man. I truely want to be w/ him. But like I said I will walk away and move on if I have to.
I did copy the picture and the poem on photo paper and put the frame and pics together. I hope it makes JJ smile and not makes him sad. Jr is beaming in the pic.
I bought a battery charger for 6 and 12 volt batteries. So in the morning I will get the battery charged and get mowing big time. Ready. Then Bar and dido are coming over to make a dump run to get rid of stuff. It will feel good to clear out that stuff.
Overall its been a good day. I am happy for the most part.
I miss my man. He told me he has a meeting w/ his old boss about getting his job back. So it looks like Phoenix will be it. I did text him this morning and asked if we would be alright, he texted back and said of course silly ass. He has called me several times and he tells me he misses me and cant wait to see me on Monday. Me to. He has gotten to hang out w/ his family alot so that is good. He is going to the beach early in the am and then meeting up w/ k's mom and stepdad. He is coming back on Sunday to meet up w/ the girls and then stay over nite in Phoenix. He is also going to come back up here and meet w/ his boss here. I dont blame him for moving back to phoenix. Too many bad memories.
So I guess if we are meant to be and work it out then by April I will know if I am moving to phoenix or not. I do hope so. I love this man. I truely want to be w/ him. But like I said I will walk away and move on if I have to.
I did copy the picture and the poem on photo paper and put the frame and pics together. I hope it makes JJ smile and not makes him sad. Jr is beaming in the pic.
I bought a battery charger for 6 and 12 volt batteries. So in the morning I will get the battery charged and get mowing big time. Ready. Then Bar and dido are coming over to make a dump run to get rid of stuff. It will feel good to clear out that stuff.
Overall its been a good day. I am happy for the most part.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
update
I just got a call from JJ that I dont have to worry about Cal being our or my or something fate. He had looked at a job and he wasnt going to do what they were offering there. So now its between phoenix and flagstaff. He talks about going back to his old job until he found what he really wants and thats a truck driving job. So this would be an in between job. This will be an interesting week as he tells me whats he is thinking about and what he is deciding.
I tried to mow my property but the battery is dead. I dont feel like running into town and there are huge storm clouds and cloudiness coming in.
I feel tired today again. My appetite is better though. I am glad about that. But within reason mind you. I have lost 22lbs now. I dont want to put it back on.
I do need to move. I also want to take a nap. nap vs cleaning, hmmmmmmmmm lets see which one will win out. I think nap!!!! On my comfy couch and my awesome tv. I do love my life. It is good.
Oh I sent out an email about a tibentine type test. 4 questions. It was so right on. I couldnt believe it. It was so right on w/ my life. I was absolutely blown away. One of the questions had to do w/ colors and assigning the name w/ the color, I put JJ w/ red, since he likes red, and it was who I love. Anyway, there were many many similarities to my life.
Well off to deciding on what I am going to do.
I tried to mow my property but the battery is dead. I dont feel like running into town and there are huge storm clouds and cloudiness coming in.
I feel tired today again. My appetite is better though. I am glad about that. But within reason mind you. I have lost 22lbs now. I dont want to put it back on.
I do need to move. I also want to take a nap. nap vs cleaning, hmmmmmmmmm lets see which one will win out. I think nap!!!! On my comfy couch and my awesome tv. I do love my life. It is good.
Oh I sent out an email about a tibentine type test. 4 questions. It was so right on. I couldnt believe it. It was so right on w/ my life. I was absolutely blown away. One of the questions had to do w/ colors and assigning the name w/ the color, I put JJ w/ red, since he likes red, and it was who I love. Anyway, there were many many similarities to my life.
Well off to deciding on what I am going to do.
Hump day
It is the hump day as they call it. Its very cloudy here. I guess it stormed last nite. Loud thunder for sure. I am dressed and going to get gas for my riding lawn mower to Mow the hell out of this land. Its out of control. Everyone else's property is mowed except me. Imagine that. I have lots of wild flowers right now to, so its hard to want to get rid of it. Oh well.
I did text JJ a good morning and hope he has a great day. He needs this day for sure to just have some fun w/ old friends and time to himself also. So I will go on w/ my day and get some stuff done. I will feel so much better if I do that.
Again its hard to not to want to pick up the phone and say good morning. I know its the right thing to do by not doing it. Let him be as dido in fl says. She is so right.
He did call me last nite after he went to the movie w/ his son,j. Another name w/ the 1st letter being a j. So the same initials.
Well off to be productive.
I did text JJ a good morning and hope he has a great day. He needs this day for sure to just have some fun w/ old friends and time to himself also. So I will go on w/ my day and get some stuff done. I will feel so much better if I do that.
Again its hard to not to want to pick up the phone and say good morning. I know its the right thing to do by not doing it. Let him be as dido in fl says. She is so right.
He did call me last nite after he went to the movie w/ his son,j. Another name w/ the 1st letter being a j. So the same initials.
Well off to be productive.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Did it
I am proud of myself and with the help of a few friends I did not pick up the phone to talk to JJ. It was very hard but I am so glad I waited. He finally called at around 7pm. He had taken a long Letera, as he calls it, and then worked on the van w/ his dad and his brother. He called me again 20 mins later to let me know he was heading over there. You cant talk on your phone in the car unless you have a blue tooth because you will get a ticket big time. Expensive apparently.
He was going to pick up his other son. He lives in california w/ his mom and grandmother. I met them all at the service in Cal. Very nice people. He wants to talk some sense into him about his one way ticket to NY to be w/ some girl that is going to college out there. He is 18 and doesnt even work. Then he was hoping to take him out for a movie or dinner. But they were going to talk 1st. Tomorrow he was so excited his friend from high school lives down the street from his one brother. Well they use to go to the angels baseball game and his friends schedule of doing hair is slow so they are going to the game together. Thats his favorite baseball team. He usually does a guy trip in Kingman or somewhere there is this huge lake. And this friends cousin. I met both and like both very much. I saw them again at the service in Cal. We talk alot about what happened and how JJ was doing.
Afterwards he is going to try to get together w/ K's mom and stepdad, his wife that died, for dinner. Then he wants to head to the beach to think about what he wants to do. Probably Newport beach where he took me a few weeks ago. That would be a great beach to go do some thinking. Just gorgeous. He use to go there as a kid all the time and with his friends. I told him I am so excited for him.
I also told him I was working on a project for him. I found a frame that I can make a copy of this great pic of jr. It makes you smile when you look at it. There is a oval shape place under where the pic will go and I am going to have jr's poem enlarged and put under it. He thought it was awesome that I was doing something for him. He doesnt know that this is what it is.
I want to print his poem here for every one to read. It was about his grandmother but it just showed what a great writer he was and his thought process when he did it. I hope you all enjoy reading it. It will make a tear come to your eye. so just a warning.
Forever in our Hearts
I hope your smile is everlasting
just like your unconditional love
Please watch over me from above
I will see you at home
when it is my turn to rest
Written by Jr June 2007
So there you go. I hope it makes jj smile when he looks at it and not sad. It is put together w/ love.
He was going to pick up his other son. He lives in california w/ his mom and grandmother. I met them all at the service in Cal. Very nice people. He wants to talk some sense into him about his one way ticket to NY to be w/ some girl that is going to college out there. He is 18 and doesnt even work. Then he was hoping to take him out for a movie or dinner. But they were going to talk 1st. Tomorrow he was so excited his friend from high school lives down the street from his one brother. Well they use to go to the angels baseball game and his friends schedule of doing hair is slow so they are going to the game together. Thats his favorite baseball team. He usually does a guy trip in Kingman or somewhere there is this huge lake. And this friends cousin. I met both and like both very much. I saw them again at the service in Cal. We talk alot about what happened and how JJ was doing.
Afterwards he is going to try to get together w/ K's mom and stepdad, his wife that died, for dinner. Then he wants to head to the beach to think about what he wants to do. Probably Newport beach where he took me a few weeks ago. That would be a great beach to go do some thinking. Just gorgeous. He use to go there as a kid all the time and with his friends. I told him I am so excited for him.
I also told him I was working on a project for him. I found a frame that I can make a copy of this great pic of jr. It makes you smile when you look at it. There is a oval shape place under where the pic will go and I am going to have jr's poem enlarged and put under it. He thought it was awesome that I was doing something for him. He doesnt know that this is what it is.
I want to print his poem here for every one to read. It was about his grandmother but it just showed what a great writer he was and his thought process when he did it. I hope you all enjoy reading it. It will make a tear come to your eye. so just a warning.
Forever in our Hearts
I hope your smile is everlasting
just like your unconditional love
Please watch over me from above
I will see you at home
when it is my turn to rest
Written by Jr June 2007
So there you go. I hope it makes jj smile when he looks at it and not sad. It is put together w/ love.
Time will tell
Today starts my week of my time and what ever I choose to do with it. I didnt sleep good last nite just because JJ was on the road all nite. He left late, kept getting tired, and pulling over to nap. He is able to do it w/ the van. I wake up and call him to see how far he had gotten. He said this has been a long road trip. It will be over 10 hours. He said he knows not to travel at nite. Makes you to sleepy.
He went to court yesterday. Met him before where we just sat outside and talked. If I would have had on pants I could have gone in the court room. I didnt plan on doing that anyway and so I just went back to his place and laid on my old couch and waited on him. He was pretty angry inside. He said it took everything in him not to go over the wall and want to __ _ _ the boy/man, the mother fucker is more like it. They had cops between him and this teenager. Of course plead not guilty. There might have to be a new judge due to conflict of interest and so the araignment will have to happen again. What a long fuckin process. Crazy Crazy.
I have counseling at 11. That will be good to get the week going. Help me clear my head and think about everything also. I am going to concentrate on my back yard and land. Time to mow, clean up piles in back yard so I can see where I am at. Borrow the tiller and get the back yard tilled. I am moving forward w/ this project. I think I will go maybe today after my counselors appt and order my pavers to be delivered. I am excited about getting this going and making it look good. I did decide I need to order the black plastic to put down under the pavers and rock. I am also going to have a small area where there can be grass. I am going to order the grass they have advertised on tv as grass seeds on steroids. It will grow on concrete. Not a big area by any means. Just enough to let the dogs have an area for themselves. We have gotten so much rain that the weeds are really coming up in the back yard. Going to go get my eye drops for my allergies. Use my nettie pot to wash out my sinuses from the weeds that causes your allergies to really act up.
I hope in JJ's time as I asked of him is to really decide about us. To know for sure that he wants to be in this relationship w/ me. Or with all this going on does he need to have his freedom from a relationship right now. If he decides this I will walk away, I will be sad but I will walk away and move on by myself. I dont have a problem doing this. Did it before, I can do it again. And again I hope he chooses to be w/ me. Time will tell.
Off to get some stuff done before my appt at 11 so I am not in town along time after. I want to work in the yard. Its pretty cloudy out so hopefully it will all work out.
He went to court yesterday. Met him before where we just sat outside and talked. If I would have had on pants I could have gone in the court room. I didnt plan on doing that anyway and so I just went back to his place and laid on my old couch and waited on him. He was pretty angry inside. He said it took everything in him not to go over the wall and want to __ _ _ the boy/man, the mother fucker is more like it. They had cops between him and this teenager. Of course plead not guilty. There might have to be a new judge due to conflict of interest and so the araignment will have to happen again. What a long fuckin process. Crazy Crazy.
I have counseling at 11. That will be good to get the week going. Help me clear my head and think about everything also. I am going to concentrate on my back yard and land. Time to mow, clean up piles in back yard so I can see where I am at. Borrow the tiller and get the back yard tilled. I am moving forward w/ this project. I think I will go maybe today after my counselors appt and order my pavers to be delivered. I am excited about getting this going and making it look good. I did decide I need to order the black plastic to put down under the pavers and rock. I am also going to have a small area where there can be grass. I am going to order the grass they have advertised on tv as grass seeds on steroids. It will grow on concrete. Not a big area by any means. Just enough to let the dogs have an area for themselves. We have gotten so much rain that the weeds are really coming up in the back yard. Going to go get my eye drops for my allergies. Use my nettie pot to wash out my sinuses from the weeds that causes your allergies to really act up.
I hope in JJ's time as I asked of him is to really decide about us. To know for sure that he wants to be in this relationship w/ me. Or with all this going on does he need to have his freedom from a relationship right now. If he decides this I will walk away, I will be sad but I will walk away and move on by myself. I dont have a problem doing this. Did it before, I can do it again. And again I hope he chooses to be w/ me. Time will tell.
Off to get some stuff done before my appt at 11 so I am not in town along time after. I want to work in the yard. Its pretty cloudy out so hopefully it will all work out.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Monday!
A new day. Slept hard. JJ bought the conversion van. He is excited. He was able to buy straight out for $3500.00. No car payment and then he can sell his car and take that money to give towards shekei's 1st car. He is taking care of the paperwork today. Had no idea they were so nice. Told him we need to break in the bed in the back or what converts into a bed. lol.
I am looking forward to the break from everything myself. In some ways I hope he leaves after court. I am looking forward to my days off tomorrow and Wed. It will be good to sleep in and rest alittle.
I am looking forward to the break from everything myself. In some ways I hope he leaves after court. I am looking forward to my days off tomorrow and Wed. It will be good to sleep in and rest alittle.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Sunday Morning!
It is my favorite morning of the week! I am enjoying my coffee w/ the weekend creamer. Yummmy!
Friday totally did 180 on me. I totally just couldnt deal w/ people on Friday. I just started crying. It was 3 weeks from the day of the call. Read comments online from the newspaper. Just absolutely blew my mind. I was tired. JJ and I had a little falling out.
I went to apartment and waited on him and we just had a really serious talk about us. There were alot of tears and at one point I talked about how everybody tells me to be strong for JJ and you have to be strong and I said what about me, who is being strong for me. And JJ jumped out of his chair and sat and just held me.
I am glad he is heading to Cal tomorrow after court or early Tuesday.
We discussed about him going out there and deciding what he wants to do. That includes us. I told him he has to decide on us this next week. It has to be all or nothing. If he comes back and tells me he wants it to be me and us then good I am fine w/ that. Then we can work on us and moving forward. If he decides he is going thru so much and he needs to do this w/o me or anyone then I will walk away. It will be hard and I will be sad for a while but I know me and I am strong and I will move on.
We spent the whole day and nite together and it was spontaneous and suppose to be fun. No plans. Just go where the wind takes us. We started out in his bed and then moved on to breakfast. I dont care who you are but being able to have that release is so huge and wonderful at the same time. From breakfast I drove us out to the site where jr died. He was ready to go out there. He kept thinking about what did jr do in the last bit of time. Did he fight or what. We only stayed long enough for him to look around and touch the cross put down and he saw the folage from the roses we planted. He did okay. I could tell he was anxious and he was angry. But at the same time we left and drove in silence for a few. I asked him if he was okay and he said yes.
From there we went looking around at car lots for him to look at a cheap car that will be reliable. Went out for beer and burgers. Went to our place. Then went back to his place and crashed for awhile.
We were going out that nite to a drive-in that Elly's husband was putting on. The big lebowski. Love that movie. Shut the fuck up Donny. I have to say it besides Jeff bridges being the Dude. We both nodded off a few here and there. We were tired.
Woke up together and made our plans for the day.
I have gotten nothing done this weekend and you know what its perfectly okay. That was my purpose. I did start a load of clothes and took care of the pups.
And so back to my beginning. Enjoying my Sunday morning w/ my coffee and weekend creamer. I am going back later to meet up w/ JJ to watch him play softball w/ my
cohorts at work. Its at 5:15, early enough to enjoy and not to late as far as getting ready for Monday! So we will hang out for a while.
Tomorrow is just one court hearing and thats about the bail. Jr's mom wants to come out so she can get on the stand to speak out. I dont blame her. This was her son.
I will see him after work and then after the trial. Prior to him leaving and then I will have a break to work on my yard. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have Tuesday and Wed off. Tuesday I am going to work out and then on to counseling. Depending on weather I will either mow my property Tuesday or Wed. I also want to go to order my pavers. Time to move on w/ the house again. I am also off work this next weekend and JJ wont be back until Sunday so I have even more time to take care of that.
I actually wore a skort I wore when I 1st met JJ. It looks like a skirt. You wouldn't know. It looked good on me. I am fitting back into certain things. It feels good. I just want to keep going. At lease doing this I am going to get rid of more clothes so when I pack up in the future I wont have as much to pack up. Like that for sure!
Oh and the crazy thing that happened Sat was when we pulled out of the area back on the main road guess who comes up behing me but the ex on his bike and his wife on hers. At 1st I was like great. I truely hate seeing him. Then it was what ever. JJ said was that on her bike, I said yup. I will be glad when I leave this area eventually and know I will never run into him anywhere will be the best feeling. Leave it behind!
Friday totally did 180 on me. I totally just couldnt deal w/ people on Friday. I just started crying. It was 3 weeks from the day of the call. Read comments online from the newspaper. Just absolutely blew my mind. I was tired. JJ and I had a little falling out.
I went to apartment and waited on him and we just had a really serious talk about us. There were alot of tears and at one point I talked about how everybody tells me to be strong for JJ and you have to be strong and I said what about me, who is being strong for me. And JJ jumped out of his chair and sat and just held me.
I am glad he is heading to Cal tomorrow after court or early Tuesday.
We discussed about him going out there and deciding what he wants to do. That includes us. I told him he has to decide on us this next week. It has to be all or nothing. If he comes back and tells me he wants it to be me and us then good I am fine w/ that. Then we can work on us and moving forward. If he decides he is going thru so much and he needs to do this w/o me or anyone then I will walk away. It will be hard and I will be sad for a while but I know me and I am strong and I will move on.
We spent the whole day and nite together and it was spontaneous and suppose to be fun. No plans. Just go where the wind takes us. We started out in his bed and then moved on to breakfast. I dont care who you are but being able to have that release is so huge and wonderful at the same time. From breakfast I drove us out to the site where jr died. He was ready to go out there. He kept thinking about what did jr do in the last bit of time. Did he fight or what. We only stayed long enough for him to look around and touch the cross put down and he saw the folage from the roses we planted. He did okay. I could tell he was anxious and he was angry. But at the same time we left and drove in silence for a few. I asked him if he was okay and he said yes.
From there we went looking around at car lots for him to look at a cheap car that will be reliable. Went out for beer and burgers. Went to our place. Then went back to his place and crashed for awhile.
We were going out that nite to a drive-in that Elly's husband was putting on. The big lebowski. Love that movie. Shut the fuck up Donny. I have to say it besides Jeff bridges being the Dude. We both nodded off a few here and there. We were tired.
Woke up together and made our plans for the day.
I have gotten nothing done this weekend and you know what its perfectly okay. That was my purpose. I did start a load of clothes and took care of the pups.
And so back to my beginning. Enjoying my Sunday morning w/ my coffee and weekend creamer. I am going back later to meet up w/ JJ to watch him play softball w/ my
cohorts at work. Its at 5:15, early enough to enjoy and not to late as far as getting ready for Monday! So we will hang out for a while.
Tomorrow is just one court hearing and thats about the bail. Jr's mom wants to come out so she can get on the stand to speak out. I dont blame her. This was her son.
I will see him after work and then after the trial. Prior to him leaving and then I will have a break to work on my yard. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have Tuesday and Wed off. Tuesday I am going to work out and then on to counseling. Depending on weather I will either mow my property Tuesday or Wed. I also want to go to order my pavers. Time to move on w/ the house again. I am also off work this next weekend and JJ wont be back until Sunday so I have even more time to take care of that.
I actually wore a skort I wore when I 1st met JJ. It looks like a skirt. You wouldn't know. It looked good on me. I am fitting back into certain things. It feels good. I just want to keep going. At lease doing this I am going to get rid of more clothes so when I pack up in the future I wont have as much to pack up. Like that for sure!
Oh and the crazy thing that happened Sat was when we pulled out of the area back on the main road guess who comes up behing me but the ex on his bike and his wife on hers. At 1st I was like great. I truely hate seeing him. Then it was what ever. JJ said was that on her bike, I said yup. I will be glad when I leave this area eventually and know I will never run into him anywhere will be the best feeling. Leave it behind!
Friday, August 1, 2008
TGIF
I am so damn glad its Friday. I am ready to work and be done. Today after work JJ and I are going to talk about things and see where we are going from here. He did get the week off next week. So he will leave early on Tuesday am for Cal. I am glad he needs to.
Well off to get dressed and finish out the week!
Well off to get dressed and finish out the week!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
