Awsome Holiday and more to come!

Okay before you get started this is long and I appologize.

Christmas was absolutely perfect. I got to leave early to start by christmas vacation. They gave me off Friday so I was able to spend time down in Pheonix til Sunday. I got down there around 12:30 to 1pm. Bitch getting to the 101 as usual because of the major construction of widing the road on I 17. Its crazy. But anyway got to JJ's early and our time began. We missed each other bad and caught up on the improtant stuff 1st off. Then food to give us more energy. We went to this burger place that JJ found and omg I love Philly Cheese Sadwiches. And they had one that was so rich and deliscious. OMG if I would have a gallbladder it would have crashed and give me an attack. JJ got their pastrami sandwich and Fried zuchinni, nothimg frozen. All made there fresh. Nice. Its called the Burger Factory. I dont think a chain by any means. Just really good, bad food for ya. Did some errands and back at his place and back at it again. It was absolutely awesome.
We headed over that night to the girls house and hung out for awhile. It was after 10pm when they got home so mind you we were ready to go to bed. We were tired. So about midnight we went out and slept in the van. A couple of blankets and off to lala land. Shekei woke us up at 5am. It was so fun watching the girls and their brother open presents. It was fun hanging out with the girls mom and step dad. Made it all worth it. It took exactly 25 mins for them to open everything. They scored.
After awhile JJ and I headed back to his apartment and crashed.
Our day together was just so nice and relaxing. Love, cooking, and hanging out. We did go to the movies and saw Marley and Me. Funny, sweet, about life, but the ending killed me. Didnt know because I didnt read the book.
We watch the lakers win, JJ was happy happy. My ham dinner came out beautiful. Yummy!!!!!!!!
Got to sleep in on Friday and got the girls and came back to the apartment. We got them until Sat. They were so excited because they got to synch their ipods with music off of JJ's computer. They also made's dvd with pictures to music. One of jr, except when the introduction comes on they had something really nice and then added Keep it gansta. JJ told them I want that taken off. I dont want that on their. The girls were trying to say that was Jr and I said thats what got him in trouble. The rest was awesome. It started to bring tears to my eyes. Our 1st Christmaas without Jr. Sad very Sad. We hurt the girls feelings but JJ was going to talk more to them about it. They dont understand this gansta stuff isnt positive, its negative. Its so glorified. He brought up the example Pimp my ride, He pointed out what is a pimp a bad person who whores out girls, beats them up and takes their money after they sell their body for money. He is so right and I am so glad he said something to them about it. Good for him.
We then decided after the last minute to go to the movies by his place and JJ and shekei went to see Vlkary and Sammy and me saw 7 lbs. Another one I didn't know what to expect til the end. When you see it all come together you jaw drops to the ground and then its unbelievable that what happen happened. Crazy.
We then watched Shekei's dvd of Nightmare before Christmas. Hadnt seen the whole thing. It was good. Enjoyed.
We crashed sometime after. Slept hard. Slept in again on Sat. Took the girls home and went and saw Jenny and her boyfriend. They were in town at her mom's who lives south Chandler. For those of you who dont know this but they live way out there. It was good to see them and her mom. Stayed only an hour because they had family there to eat dinner. So we took off to go make our own dinner of spaghetti and saugage.
It all went well til I hurt JJ's feelings and he got mad at me. We stopped at the store and couldnt find the bathroom and didnt know he needed it also and I asked someone and didnt tell him I was doing that and I disappeared. He was mad at me and didnt talk to me for a few and deservingly so. By the time we got home and was cooking dinner, he appologized to me and I said I was so sorry and we hugged and kissed and it was over. I told him I would never do that again to him. So considering that was our only mishap of the holiday then we were good.
We watched the rest of Walk Hard, Dewey Cox. It is absolutely hilarious. We just kept drinking beer and having a good time. We finally crashed and got to sleep in on Sunday. It was the best getting to sleep in everyday almost. Headed back up the hill.
I did leave a satisfied woman. The sexual tension between was absolutely incredible and insatiable. Love it Love it Love it.
Cant wait to get back down there Wed to celebrate and bring in our new year together.
Driving back up here just reminded me of how happy I will be that this is all behind us and we are having our life in Phoenix. Even thought 2009 will bring some aweful stuff like the trials, it will be good to have it behind us and my house sold. Start anew.
2009 is going to be my year to start anew. Woohoo for 2009!!!!

Merry Christmas All!

I cant believe tomorrow is Christmas eve. I have been running since I have been at work and off. Spent 2 hours shoveling More snow and more expected tomorrow and Friday. another 12 to 24 inches is expected at 6,000 ft and above. Crazy.
I still have a little more to do before I head to bed. Once I wake up I have to get ready, pack, shovel snow into a cooler pack our food for Christmas day on top of the snow. feed the dogs and make sure things are in order.
I am so excited about my trip to Phoenix to be with JJ and the girls and their mom and step dad. We are also going to go to the movies on Christmas to see one of the movies coming out. Marley and me looks hilarious. There are defiately several to see right now. Go back to his place, cook our dinner and watch the lakers play and just spend time together. Perfect.
Our weekend together was absolutely wonderful. We had the best time. It was just so fun.
The holidays will be nice this year for all of us.
I didnt send out christmas cards this year. I am so sorry Biker. Just know I am thinking about you guys and wish you and all my blogger friends A Merry Christmas! Hope everyone is staying warm and dry!

Okay new pics

New pics from the snow we have rec'd. More to come with the biggiest storm to be here around noon.

Here we go:

quiet

Today is a quiet day. Its snowing some more, heavy, light, heavy. The next storm will be in today around noon, expecting 12 to 25 inches today. I need to shovel my walk way and area in front of the garage.
I did not get my cards done. I fell asleep but I still woke up so tired. Must be the weather.
I will take more pics of the outside so you can see how much more snow we got.
I am feeling in a funk this am. I need to do something to knock that out.
3 more days then I can see my man. Thank god. I miss him big time.
We are both counting down the days.
I will be back.

Tired

I am just plain tired. Crazy. We were having the worse weather and of course this always happens, everyone makes their surgery. They go thru hell to get there but they do it.
So we were very busy. Job security and getting my hours in a good thing.
Got off work and we are still getting snow and more on the way. It sure has made everything so pretty. I will take more pics tomorrow and put them on here tomorrow.
Today just kicked my ass. Got off went by dido and her hubby was there and we sat and drank a beer in front of the fire place just visiting. It was so nice.
I didnt want to get home to late because of traffic increasing and the roads being bad. But the roads were good. Amazingly.
So now I am off tomorrow except to do the skills lab from 1p to 5p, make an extra 4 hours of pay. Easy money. But if the weather is crappy then I am not driving into town. I am defiately planning on snowshoeing out my front door in the am. No doubt. It will do my soul good.
My neighbor told me she cant watch the dogs until after the middle of Jan because her husband is leaving for the FBI academy in Jan and will be gone for 4 months. I know she is so bummed but she will make some trips out there. I talk to my other friends who help me plant the bushes in the back yard this summer and they are going to be around for the holidays. I am going to do some nice stuff for them and also after her daughter goes back to hawaii for school then I am taking them out to dinner. Catch up time. So thats kool. I still want to do something nice for Pam and ken for Christmas.
I started feeling over whelmed for a few. A little anxiety. I need to relax and just enjoy this time. So I pulled out some cards to fill out and thats what I am doing tonight is sending out christmas cards. I only have a few things to mail out, nothing major but something to show the people I love that I am thinking about them. So tomorrow I am planning on going to the post office and mail off everything. Get it done and over with.
I can then relax and enjoy the holidays.
I am so ready to go to Phoenix this weekend. I feel so happy and excited for sure.
It will be nice to just have time together. Boyfriend and girlfriend time!
Well off to work on cards and have another beer!

did something crazy

OMG I can't believe what I just did. I took pics of myself in certain places and sent them to JJ by phone. I have already erased them but he just loved them. I told him I was so embarrased. He said dont be I loved them. Makes him even more horny for Sat. I am so ready to see him. Damn 3 weeks is just way to long. We are both ready to see each other big time.
Woohoo for Sat!!!!

Monday Monday

Another storm has arrived and expected to drop up to 25 inches by Wed. We will see.
Today was a good day. I enjoyed work and being around everyone. All my patients were pleasant.
Tomorrow is a holiday pot luck. Everyone is bringing a dish of some kind. My egg,saugage, mushroom, and spinach quiche' w/ bisquit came out really good. I ate a few pieces and brought the rest to work. So for tomorrow I am making a bisquit cheese, chicken, mushroom, and brocolli caserole. Man bisquit will be my main thing to always have at the house.
My cowboys won!!!!!!!!!!!!! The giants didnt even show up to play. How sad is that. So now we will see if they can get thru Sat nite's game. I will be in Phoenix watching at a sports bar close to JJ's place. Woohoo I am so ready to get down there. Heading down there Sat am. We will have til Mon and then I will be back down there on Wed after work. If I have to work Friday then he will come up with me on christmas and stay til either Sunday or Monday. I am going 1/2 way with him on Friday. His friend Tim's mom sent him a ticket to fly to Kansas for Christmas, where he is from and since JJ lives 5 minutes from the airport then he is going to come down on Friday and hang out and leave early Sat am. So I am going to wait to go down on Sat am. And you know what I am okay with that. I will be spending alot of time with him over the next 2 weeks. So thats kool. But then our time begins on Sat. am.
We are going to spend Christmas eve and am with the girls at their house. It will fun to hang out with them and their mom and step dad. Then once we are done with them then its off to be together just the 2 of us. Woohoo.
Well off to watch my soap and then make my caserole for tomorrow. I am having progreso chicken corn chowder soap tonight. Something warm big time. Need it.

Pics of snow at my house

Here are a few pics of my house and the view of the mountain from my street! Enjoy!






My front door! My wreath for christmas











The view from my street





The San Francisco Peaks





My house and my property. Looks pretty!

decisions

Okay here I am again thinking about the decision to work out today, this morning. hmmmmm. I need to go get bisquit and the newspapers. Egg caserole and coupon searching time.
I did put alittle christmas in my house. I took out my fiber optic tree and also this cute little navity that I bought when I went back to Lubbock. I also put my christmas wreath on the door.
I hope I get off the day after Christmas to enjoy the weekend down in Phoenix.
Anyway it snowed. Its a winter wonderland and I am enjoying my time at the house also. I have 20 mins to make this decision. It would be good to get my body moving and continue being back on track. I would wait til tomorrow but they are calling for 12 to 20inches and if that is the case, jazz will be cancelled. So anyways there you go.
I had a great time at the shower. The food and company was great. Had a nice time. Got to come home and take a nap. I set some boundaries yesterday. I took call from 7p to 7a. Not before. And the girl who was going to leave at 6pm asked me if she should call in the e. for an hour and I told her that I feel bad to do that to her for an hour but I needed a nap in case I worked all night. Just 1 hour and so thats exactly what I did. I went home, slept an hour then headed in to work. Roads getting yucky. I worked til 9:45 and came home. 3 hours. Perfect. When I got out of work it was a blizzard. Snow coming down. I didnt get called back in. Woohoo. Woke up to a winter wonderland. Expecting more like I said, all week. I will be ready for snow shoeing. oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay I made my decision, I am getting dressed and going to work out. Then go to the store and come home. Buy myself some beer for the house to watch Dallas against Giants. I just dont know how I feel about this game. I dont see good things. We shall see.

Worked out

I ended up choosing working out. I am so glad I did. I feel so much better and got some energy and cleaned up my kitchen. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I put my new silverware away from Linen's n things. I love it. Its so shiny. Nice.
I am going to take a shower and get ready for what the day will bring.
ie.... baby shower and then call tonight. I go on call at 7pm. I hope I get called in at the start, stay a couple of hours and then home to bed to sleep with out getting woke up again and enjoying my sunday morning.
Oh another good thing happen, I bought these cute earrings at the jewelry show at one of the hair dressers. I wore it one day and lost one. I found it today at Jazz. She has a lost and found drawer. It was in there. Good sign of things to come!!!
The wind is still blowing big time. Hate it.
Oh well. thats it for now.

Weekend time

Woohoo its the weekend. Love it! I have already been enjoying my coffee with the weekend creamer. The wind sucks big time right now. Woke me up this am.
Sucks big time. Storm is just about here. Snow is suppose to start tonight. Waiting for the weather to come on the news. See what the forecast is.
I am trying to decide if I am going to work out. Pro it would be good for me to move and stretch out. Get some good cardio and strength training or just stay home til I have to go to town later to go to a baby shower. So that is my delema.
I just can't decide.
I am trying not to think about this whole thing w/ jj. Just look forward to the next several weeks of our time together enjoying the holidays. Be in the now.
I need to pull out my little tree I plug in and it changes colors on the tree. Its perfect. I think next year it will be cool that hopefully JJ and I will be in a house in Phoenix and get to go all out decorating and having the girls with us for once on Christmas. Defiately. A kool dream. I also need to pull out my cards. Just found some that I purchased. Cute. They will have to do. I will get special cards for my parents. And need to send one to JJ's parents. Not sure how to sign it. I will have to talk to him about that. If he wants him and the girls included.
I had a great time hanging out at Devo's place. Her hubby is doing really well after hip replacement. The wine was great. Loved it.
It felt so good to not have to drive far. less then 5 minutes away.
I have been reading this book by Daniel Steel called "sisters" Its about these 4 sisters and their lifes. Terrible things happened after the intro of the each girl and their life and how they are all going home to their mom and dads for the 4th of July. Never miss it. So I keep reading. Its very good. It is keeping my interest. Read alittle everyday.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

frustrated, happy. and excited

I am happy its friday and frustrated because I still cant get the file to download to the cd thru that program, it keeps failing. WTF. JJ convinced me if I cant do it then to take my dvd player to best buy pay for the 1st time and tell them to teach me what to do. This is just rediculous. I know I am not that much of a computer idiot. I went by the directions off of samsung. I downloaded the file to the desktop after unzipping and then clicked on it open and then it went to the program, started to download and then fails. So I can not figure from there what I am doing wrong. So there you go. Any suggestions?
JJ and I talked last nite about the banquet for shekei and his conversation with the girls mom. He is getting the girls this weekend, to have alone time with them. We are going to have the next weekend to ourselves and then christmas we will sleep in the van and be there when the girls wake up. Sta said she really likes me and wants us to all have time together but if the girls could just have a couple of weekends alone then we could get past this thing with them. JJ stood up for me with her and the girls and told her there are going to be weekends we are all going to be together. She thought it would be great. He was also telling me how much he cant believe it will be 3 weeks before he sees me. He wishes he could see me this weekend. He misses me. This all made me very happy.
I miss him big time. We discussed what we are going to do after the girls open presents. We are going to have the rest of the day to ourselves. Maybe go to the movies and cook a ham and have a nice dinner between us. I am so happy that things are going well.
I truely do feel very happy and now looking forward to the holidays. I think I will take my little plug in tree that changes colors down with me for us to have a tree together.
Life is good!

Back. Didnt realize that I didntp post this but it saved it. Kool. See I do love Technology.
I am excited because I called Samsung and they are mailing me a disk to update the dvd free. It better be free. So all I will have to do is put it in the dvd player and update. Woohoo.
Another thing I am excited but not getting my hopes up is JJ tells me on the phone that he is thinking about moving back up here after the holidays. To be with me and moving back in with me. He wants to be with me. He misses me. He said once the trials are over and I sell my house then we can move to phoenix together. I just think it would be so nice if he was living here with me. It would feel like we are a couple. Just get to enjoy each other's company. He has things he is looking into and has to really think about the girls, etc. So we will see. I want to jump up and down but I dont want to get my hopes up until he gets it all worked out.
My 2009 could be very interesting. As always. Never dull thats for sure.
I had to go to World Market and buy some wine for devo for her birthday. Dido backed out but another girl and her fiance' is coming over. I am going for an hour and coming home. The weather is changing. STarting tomorrow nite til next Friday we are suppose to get snow. Like major feet worth. Snowshoeing!!!! Oh yeah! I said I was going to enjoy winter this year since I am moving away.
So anyway lots to think about. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

Enjoying a Poligamy Porter beer

Yes it is called that. Bring some home to the wives. You have to have more then one. lol. And it is smooth. Dark but not heavy and smooth. Yumm.
I got off work a little late, met up with Dido and we walked 15 mins and then I came home. I didnt feel like going downtown and come home close to 7:30 to 8pm. I wanted to be home by 6 and I did that. So now I am drinking my beer out of my tall Cowboys beer freezer cup. Yummmmmmmmmy.
My walk was cool. The moon was out and it was still daylight. It look so cool thru the trees and then coming back the sunset. A very kool awesome moment.
So now I am going to see if I can download this file using nero. It better work. I will be pissed beyond compare. If I cant do it then I will contact my friend Biker or my blogger friend, Fox. She does all kinds of computer stuff.
I have been so tired today. The day was rather nice and smooth. No mishaps. Very awesome. Got to talk to my honey and trade pics or texts with pics to each other. So fun. I love it. On the one hand I love technology big time but then there are times it frickin frustrating. A day of both.
So anyway wish me luck. I will let you know how it turned out of course!

what a hassel

OKAY I found out I have to upgrade the firmware on the blu ray. If you have a blu ray then you have to update the firmware. Not very easy either. Sucked. I spent 3 hours last nite and didnt get it done. I had to download a program to download this file so I can copy to a disk and do this. So this morning I spent time downloading the program. It took a total of 2 hours to do this. So we will see tonight if I can get this file downloaded on a cd and then see if it will work on the blu ray and up date. Crazy.
So needless to say I have not seen my batman movie. bummer.
I am going to work out after work and then meet up with Dido and another lady and have a chocalate martini. yum. Ready for that.
I am also taking one of the girls call sat nite to make extra money. JJ called yesterday and wanted to know if I would come down this weekend, one of his friends called to meet up next weekend in prescott. I told him nope he has the girls and I wont do it. I then told him I will just come down christmas and he said nope I wont go meet Tim. It will be 3 weeks by then that we havent seen each other. Right choice. Made me feel better.
Anyway tired today and hope work goes well.

hump day baby

I notice that some of my blogs have the same name when I go to put in the title but its all I can come up with. oh well. still fits the same.
I didnt get to watch my batman movie. In fact I am taking my dvd player in. I just bought it a year ago, its a blu ray and for some reasons the batman movies dont load and play. All my others do so I am taking it back to best buy and let the geek squad do their thing. Paid all that frickin money so I am taking advantage of the situation.
I woke up on my own at 5:20am. Staff meeting at 7:30 so I need to go get ready here in a few to be there a few minutes early.
I am staying in Flag this weekend. Shekei is staying at a friends Friday nite so jj is getting sammy and then picking shekei up sat am. Thats find. I will go the following weekend. No biggie. I am truely okay with that. In fact I am going to see who is on call Sat nite and take their call from 7pm to 7am so I can make some extra money. Take advantage of the situation.
The only thing I got done yesterday was pick stuff off the floor in the laundry/mud room. I didnt vacumn. I felt kinda of yucky. Oh well, I needed some rest. Got it.
I am hoping it wont take the geek squad long because I want to go work at out at 5:30 tonight. I am back on a roll of working out.
Hey does anyone know about making quiche. I made it but it was flat. I used 5 eggs and milk, saugage, salt, pepper, and cheese. it was crustless also. hm. I know this should be easier but I have lost my touch with cooking. I dont do it enough.
Oh speaking of cooking, I went in a box in garage and found my old cookbook, the asian one my ex gave me which I am giving to someone at work. I also came across a cookbook from his family that has pics from the late 1800's. After the holidays I am mailing that along with the vcr tape of his family to him without a note but getting rid of it. There are other cookbooks from his mom which has great recipes and dont know if I want to keep them. They are church cookbooks, ect. Havent decided.
Well off to get ready to start my day and dry my hair and put on alittle makeup.
Life is good and I am truely at peace and feel Loved!

groggy

Today I feel so groggy. I took a benadryl last nite to help me sleep and now my head feels crappy and groggy. yuck. My sinuses are bugging me also. Thank god I dont have a lot to do.
I do need to go get dressed and take tipper to the groomers. Her poor nails are so long and so at lease she will be able to walk easier. I feel so terrible. Then it will Sam and I today. I took a pic on my phone of him and I with his head on my shoulder. He loves the camera, not tipper. she turns and walks away. Just didnt like my neck in the pic. yuck. lol.
I am having my coffee with the weekend creamer. I treated myself yesterday. They even had a $2.00 coupon to use at time of purchase so what the hay.
I am also heading to best buy to take back top gun and buy the dark knight. woohoo. Excited about that movie.
My goal today is to vacumn and clean off the floor of my mud room. Not a big deal at all which is nice. Do that 1st and then vacumn. Get all the tipper bunnies off the floor. I could make another tipper with the way her hair sheds. crazy.
It must have snowed last nite because everything is covered lightly in white. Its in the high teens right now. Colder then a witch's tit as they say.
Well off to get some stuff done.

Monday Monday

Today is the start of the week. It has started out well. I didnt fall asleep til 11pm so I am tired. Will work today and have off tomorrow.
I got to get my grocery shopping done after work, got my coupons together. Then come home vacumn and then go work out at 5:30pm.
I have to get Tipper to the groomer tomorrow am and I am going to take Sam for a nice hike. Him and I can go for a long walk compared to when I am with tipper.
I am excited about the new batman movie coming out tomorrow since I didnt get to see it in the theatre. I think tomorrow will be batman marathon time tomorrow afternoon to evening.
Well hope all are well!

oh well

They didnt win, gave it up in the last quarter. Had a great time watching the game. I was surrounded by cowboy fans and there were stealers fans in the back ground. I had 2 beers and then switch to water and a coke.
I am waiting to see if I have to go in and keep pre op open for call tonight. Didnt get called in but once. So I figure I will stayed dressed for at the lease next hour and get changed to go to bed. Tired.
All in all a great weekend. I went and looked at digital cameras. Found a few for under $100.00. I have a little time to play with so we will see how it goes.
It feels good starting off the week happy. I truely feel content.
Hope everyone had a great weekend.

go cowboys

I hope cowboys win today against the steelers. I want us to make it to playoffs.

Productive day

My work out was great until the end and she played the song by Christine Aguilar one last day. OMG talk about making me cry. Just thinking one more day, would that made a difference. I dont know. The teacher/owner who I just love. She said Oh Letera I will take one out, she said I am so sorry. I told this is not her fault and to not appologize. I appreciate that. This is a raw time between birthday and 5 months on the 10th. Crazy.
But I still left feeling good and ready to go get a shower. I got all my running around done. Got what I had to at Target. I did drinks. Easy. The shower was very nice. Good food. Nothing else the rest of the day. Just water. Flush that stuff through. About to take a nap in case I get called in. I have a couple of hours before everyone is gone. So all is good.

A better day!

Last nite turned out to be aweful. It started okay, my hair came out fabulous, still looks good today not even combed yet, but after I went to Buffalo wild wings and had 3 beers. It hit me hard about Jr. I just cried and cried. I could still cry now. But I am telling my self its a new day and I am going to have a good day.
My hairdresser is the one who lost her 10 year old son in an atv accident. It was 5 months ago yesterday since he died. We talked about the holiday season and how we are soso about the christmas season. For her she doesnt want to do gift giving. She will for her one son. But everyone else she just cant go there this year. She wants to bake. I told her I dont plan on doing much. Its really hard to get into the season. I think the only thing I want to do is go to the phoenix zoo to look at the lights with jj and the girls. I dont want to decorate or much of anything else. If I had the money I would have gone away somewhere by myself warm and beachy. Just to get away.
I have already have my coffee, yum. I am going to go work out and go to the baby shower for the 2 girls at work with dido. I need to get my endorphins going so I get back on track. I am on call so we will see if I work because I guess the last several weekends nobody has hardly worked. Its probably time that we will be busy so if I do then I will make good money so bring it on. I can sleep in tomorrow.
So I am going to make a conscious decision to have a good day and feel happy again like I did this past week.
I will tell you that my dogs are my comfort creatures. Sam came on the bed last nite and just kept licking my face and being near me as I was crying and being sad. Funny how animals know.
I wish my period would start. I had crazy dreams last nite. I dreamt that I was going to have sex with Brad pitt and at another time with some gorgeous guy. But both times I stopped it for what ever reason and it took me on a wild goose chase of crazy stuff. I guess it means I am horny huh. Brad pitt though. I do think he is hot. And this other guy was dark hair and just plain gorgeous.
JJ called and checked on me late last nite to just see if I was okay and to tell me he loved me. He had a nice time with the girls and their mom and their little brother. He said that most of the people bought a beer and toasted to Jr's birthday. I would have like to have seen that.

I feel like once I am done here I have to get running. Get dressed, go work out, come home, get dressed and get to target for 2 gift cards and 2 cards from Dido and myself. Go to albertson's or fry's and get a dish to bring. Then head to Dido's and go to the shower provided I dont get called in. From there I need to go get a cartrige for my printer. Just black and white. I am printing up coupons that I find for stuff I use. There are a few sites that you can print coupons up. I am doing this to save myself some money.
Well now its time to get off and running and make this a better day!

Happy Birthday jr

Well today would have been Jr's 17th birthday. I am sad/mad at the same time. JJ will be with the girls at buffalo wild wings at the same time I will be but at 2 different ones. I will go have a beer and just say happy birthday. This is all to crazy! Actually still unbelievable. It is what it is.

Feeling happy

I have to say even with this being my pms week I am really feeling happy. I feel at peace. I feel good because I am accomplishing my goals each day. Work has been good. JJ and I seem to be back on track.
I got off early. Again our schedule for each day is small. So everyone is taking turns and being sent home. Sucks in some ways and good in others. Today I went to this place Roma's. Yummy food. Taste like the pizza I use to eat back in NJ when I was growing up. They give you alot for your money. So I am being good and ordered a salad with grilled chicken. It was so yummy. Mainly romaine, onions, and lots of chicken and croutons. I only ate a few croutons and no onions. Of course I cant get away from it but I had ranch dressing. OH Well. Now I am ready for a nap and then my goal to day is throw away all the shredded paper and trash I accumulated. Then go work out at 4:25pm. I did get on the scale, I did gain a lb but I dont feel bad due to pms week and all the bloating and all the beer I drank while I was in Cal. Alot. I have been so good this week. Tomorrow at work the hospital is having its yearly holiday buffet. So much food and all yummy. So I dont have to feel guilty about any of it. I will eat my cereal in the morning and that meal will be the only other meal I will have for the day. There will probably be 2 days of calories there. lol. Administration serves us. Ceo on down. Its rather nice.
Well hope all is well with everyone and off for a nap!

time to get busy

I got off work early and went for a wall at this cool pond, actually separated into 2 ponds. Lots of ducks, trees, some houses. I would love their porch to be able to look out on the lake. Very nice. It felt good, the weather is descent.
My plan is to watch my soap, Y&R. Stuck on that one for many years and its really good right now. Then onto shredding. Its defiately time. It will feel good to clear out my office. Good start to making space.
5 more days of work and then I am off for a day! Woohoo!

hump day

Today is hump day! Work schedule is little. Usually we are slammed w/ everyone getting last minute things done due to meeting deductable but not this year. Amazing how this year is. Crazy.
My session went well. She thinks I handled the girls very well in being upfront with them. So that made me feel better. I told her about all my ups and downs this past month. My horoscope says that this last month was very difficult and that things should settle down. So we will see.
I did go work out and then came home, ate an egg and 2 egg rolls w/ a glass of wine. Today my gut is not happy. I think I am getting close to starting my period. Good lets get going so I can be done for the month.
Well hope all are well. Have a great day!

home early

Woohoo work was a breeze today. And got off about 11 instead of 2. I am on call this weekend so I am looking at that to help make up for missing hours. Covered.
I went and got Diane and we went to the flaming bowl for lunch. Yum. Dropped her off and came home. I made an appointment for the groomers for Tipper on Tuesday. Her poor nails are so long. They need to be cut plus with her having long hair, did to groom her for the winter or at lease most of. Next on the list after I blog is pay bills online. Oh guess what last nite after I got home from meeting up with Dido and this girl patpat for her birthday. We met at the bar by my house. For once I had the shortest drive. Came home and folded and put away 6 loads of laundry. Woohoo, now talk about accomplishing something. That was huge. I can see my bed and floor. Amazing. So at lease getting this done. I am going back in to town to go to counseling and I am glad especially after this month. Just seemed like several ups and downs. It will help look at all of it. And then right after go do Jazz at 4:25. Perfect. I have decided I am not going to eat dinner as often if I ate pretty good at breakfast and lunch. I am so full from the flaming bowl.
I dont know if I am going to want to do anything else except sit on the couch tonight and catch up on tivo. Tomorrow I have made a date with my office to start shredding up crap, receipts, etc. That can be use for shipping presents.
Throw away the rest.
JJ was reading an article in the paper about that the recession should end in April. This will be the longest recession ever. So I have decided April 1st will be the date of my house being put on the market. Will keep my fingers crossed.
Anyway thats all for now.

Home!

Home for awhile. Cant believe my trip is over. It went by so fast. Had such an awesome time. We all enjoyed our time together.
It started out driving down to Phoenix to JJ's. Got there and we took off for Buffalo Wild Wings. Had fun. Got back and enjoyed just being together, making our plans for Thursday. We got up early early and picked up the girls and took off down the I-10 to California. The girls crashed big time and I took a short nap.
We got to San dimas at around 8:30am. Went to see his parents. They were invited over to his brother's for dinner but they choose not to come over. So hung out with them for a few and then to his brother's. The turkey was cooking. The house smelled good. All of the cousins hung out and the adults hung out. It was chilly. We were in the garage with the heater on drinking beer. Eventually doing shots of Jager and monster, just 2 total. Dinner turned out to be so yummy. Turkey, stuffing, mash potatoes, gravy, green been caserole, deviled eggs, stouver's macroni and cheese, and last but not lease, mind you I was the only one who ate it but canned cranberry sauce. I love it. It was so delisc.Backing up a few hours, the girls and I had a talk. At 1st when we got the girls I felt very self conscious considering everything that just came out last week. But anyway I broke down crying and the girls came out and talked to me. I told them I was hurt and was so sorry that they got hurt. We talked it out and they do want to have time with me still as a family. We told each other we loved each other and I just told them how much they meant to me. They felt the same way. I am so glad we got that taken care of.
So anyway, the rest of the day we just hung out and relaxed. Friday slept in, which was awesome. Saw his parents and they left shortly after to go to Big lots and so we left and got some KFC. His other brother and wife and kiddo's came over. Discussed our fishing trip on Sat. I was so excited about fishing. I do love it and miss it big time.
We got up at 3am to drive to Corona lake which was only 45 mins away. They stock it every wed, but the recording said stock Friday and open on Sat. Come to find out it was Stocked Wed to open on Friday. So off we go and sit in a line waiting for it to open. They have 2 shifts to fish at this lake, the 1st shift 6am to 3pm, 2nd 6pm to 3am, I think. So all of us slept in the car except JJ's Brother R. They opened up and we went in and put the boat in the water. It was very small but cute. Shore line and then on the other side, clifts. Clean bathrooms plus lots of porta potties. More shore people then boat people but you could rent a small boat to go out on it.
JJ caught the 1st trout, Lisa caught a trout and a croppie, and I caught the biggiest Trout. R didnt catch anything. He owns all the equipment, boat, bait and didnt catch a thing. Poor baby. But we had a good time all the same. JJ the night before felt like he should take the girls to see Ker's mom and step dad and his parents on Sat but because I was so excited about going Fishing we went fishing. He was glad on Sat that he did because it was something fun for us to do. It was great bonding time with his brother and wife. We did cook the trout on the grill that night and it was so yummy.
We were in bed by 7pm because we had to get up at around 1 to leave at 1:30am to get the girls home before or at 8am. They were leaving at 9am to drive to Williams to do the polar express. With the time difference of losing an hour we had to leave that early.We made it in 5 Hours and 15mins. We got them home and got some breakfast and laid down for awhile. We decided to go see 4 christmas's. OMG how funny. I recommend this holiday movie highly, no kids. Too funny.
We then stayed at his place and just relaxed. It was nice. He didnt have to get up til almost 5am for work. So we didnt have to hurry our evening along. He was so affectionate. He really put out the effort. It was nice.
He had time inbetween his jobs and went got some lunch be fore I headed up the hill. So all in all my trip was a success. I had an awesome Thanksgiving.
Now its back to get ready for the week of work. I need to go to counseling tomorrow after work and then off to work out. Time to work off the holiday calories big time. I am not gaining my weight back on. No way.
Hope all had a great Thanksgiving I will need to catch up on everyone's blogs.

Happy Turkey Week

Well I have to say I talked to Dido and she is so level headed and was and is a stepdaughter and understood where the girls are coming from. She help me see this where the girls are coming from. She said Letera they are kids and give them time, they will be asking where's Letera at. She said they change. She said just give them time. We will see.
I slept most of the night, didnt get called in. I am up, started laundry. I will start to look at other stuff and try to leave for Phoenix around noon. JJ and I are both excited to see each other. He is probably working til 2 or 3.
I am getting excited about going to Cali for Thanksgiving. The smell of Turkey cooking, mash potatoes, gravy, pumpkin pie. All of which will be yummy. We are spending it with his brother Rich and Lisa and the kids. I am so excited to spend it with family. I am hoping next year I am with my family at Thanksgiving. My goal.
We are going to some small lake on Sat for the day to fish. I am excited about fishing. I love fishing. Its so calming. I am bringing my fishing bag I came across. He has alot of poles so may be I can use one of his. JJ said he gets bored easily with it. Just getting to hang out and enjoy our time is what is the most important to me. I am truely thankful for what I have and hope what ever life brings I can handle it well.
I hope all have a great Thanksgiving and dont pig out to much.

Work

I am working my one and only day of the week. I am also on call. It will be busy crazy. Lots of screaming kids, my favorite, not.
I didnt sleep very well due to all that is on my mind. JJ is being so reassuring about this whole thing and tells me all is good but I dont feel like that. I feel like when I leave Phoenix on Monday it will be awhile before I go back down there. Like I said I will never come between kids and their parents, not my mo for sure. I love them all and am willing to walk away so they can have that time together with out me. I think a break will be welcomed and whatever that may bring.
Well off to work!

New Revelation

Once this week is over my life will change once again. I feel JJ and I will take a break due to finding out that the girls want their dad to themselves. They feel like they were competing for his attention. JJ told me this and he didnt feel like that was happening but they felt it. I called the girls and appologized. Staci called me and we talked. She knew I would never hurt the girls intentionly. So when we get back I am stepping away for awhile. I want the girls to have every weekend if that is the case. I dont and will never come inbetween their dad and them. Never. So I think things are about to come to an end, maybe temporarily or maybe for good.
So there is my 1% of the 100% I talk about. There is no way to get around every thing that has happend. Too much. They want me to go to Cal and I want to also but when we get back then we will take a break from everything. It will be good for both of us. I know Christmas is coming up and that will be hard but I will get thru it.
Tis Life.
This has become very hard being long distance. I can see how a family falls apart during all this. I just have to think about me and what I need. Think about what I want in the year 2009.

Sunday

What do I have to say but as I always say, My favorite day of the week. There is something about it. For me doing whatever you need to get done or planned to do on Sat that Sunday is a day to still do stuff what ever that is to you but have a more relaxed attitude. Its Football and beer for sure or at lease start with a Bloody. Not to spicy. Being the wimp that I am.
Its funny both JJ and I were in bed at the same time. After I went to bed I texted him one last time to say good nite and I loved him. He texted me back Love u 2 Good nite Letera. It was just a nice good nite. During the game we were texting each other constantly. Speaking of, wtf, Okla just took over and kept it there. Tech had a hard time last nite. Very disappointing.
Today is My Dallas Cowboys against JJ and Dido's 49ers. There is a place not to far from here on Rt 66 called The mason jar that is advertising the football ticket. They are a bar and resturant. So if I can go have breakfast then my 1st bloody and my cowboys, What a perfect day. The only thing missing is my guy. He already called to say good morning. He is being very reassuring and comforting to me. I am so excited about going down on Wed. Private time for us and then Thursday Family time. Its all good. I am excited about fishing next weekend. I found some fishing stuff of mine yesterday. JJ and I also talked about going to the movies this weekend in Cal to see soul men. Not a kid movie. Lots to look forward to. Well off to go thru some coupons and just see what I really need. I only need to make sure I am taken care of thru Wed morning.
Well everyone enjoy your Sunday!!!

Accomplished

I feel so good. I cleaned out this one part of the garage and got rid of a back car load to Savers and stuff in the trash.
That felt good. I did talk to Paul and he will come on Monday and give me a guess a mate for the trim.
I had a great time going out tonight. Dido and I went to Brews and cues and had beers and dinner. Yummy. This guy who works with us at the hospital was working and he is cute to look at. Dido and I were cracking up laughing over our dirty thoughts.
lol.
I am about to go to bed. I am so bummed about Texas Tech. What happened? bummer. Oh well. Life will go on.
Tomorrow I am planning coffee and going somewhere where I can get a bloody and the Cowboy game! And then off to shop of dog food and a couple of things. I want to get my kitchen cleaned and clothes in bedroom put away. Goals for tomorrow!!!

My Weekend

To do with it as I please. I am off for 3 days. I am enjoying my 1st cup of coffee checking out my email and thinking about what my plans are for the day. JJ already called and said good morning prior to his safety meeting. So that was a nice way to wake up. I am going to meet up with Dido and work out to Gretchen's class. You walk out of her class just feeling so good. Go for coffee and something to eat at the coffee shop near my house. Its a cute little place.
Come home and start on my garage. I also need to call Paul about coming over to give me a quote on my trim. See when he can do it and how much. Need to cross that off my list. It will be so nice to have that done. Then call the plummer to come over when I get back from Cal to replace my faucets. Cross that off my list. I am also going to start bringing home boxes so I can start packing up what I am going to keep.
But for today call Paul and get working on the garage. When I go back into town, make a donation pile of stuff and go meet Dido for Texas Tech Football. We are trying to decide where to go. Somewhere different. Get some dinner and a few beers and cheer them on. I hope like hell they stay undefeated. That would be awesome.
So all in all it will be a great day. I am making it that way.
The week has been good. Went to a comfort/bedding/spa party at Elly's last nite.
There were defiately a few things I want. 1st a body pillow with pillow case. And this head massager that looks like a wisk with plastic tips. It was so nice. It really stimulated the head. I am buying that so that JJ and I can do it to each other. They also have a great neck or whatever wrap that you can put in the microwave or freezer. You can lay it across your shoulders or back or stomach. Its rectangular shape and it comes in lavender, eucalytus and one other smell. They also have a lumbar pillow to. But those are only a few things that I really want. Havent spent any money right now. Going to look at the pillow 1st and the head massager. Elly is having another party in Jan and so I will look at the wrap then.
Oh I went and saw the new James Bond movie. Lots of action. Very good.
Hope all are having a good weekend!

Slept in

OMG I slept in, kinda. JJ didnt realize I was off and called me about 5am but I finally fell back to sleep and the next thing I know its almost 7:30. I feel so much better as far as rested but I am so sore from working out yesterday. Thats awesome. Cant wait to go tomorrow. I am truely ready to get back on track.
Today like I said I am going to get a massage at 1. I am so ready for that. I need it. Then meet up with Dido and off to hopefully meet up with Elly and Patty for happy hour. We are going to busters. Its a resturant/bar. It has beers around the world. They have a thing you can join to try 100 beers. I know that dido and Barn joined. Dont know how many they are up to now. I am ready for fun with the girls.
You are going to believe this got an email already on that match.com from one guy in washington. He is middle eastern and I am not going there. Not interested at all. Got a wink from a cute 49 year old in South Carolina. Saw a few guys that are from northern az and they are actually cute but they want some one a few years younger and slender. So oh well.
This is actually fun to see whats out there. Crazy.
Today I decided I need to clean out my car, big time of trash and junk mail. Get caught up on bills today. That is on the top of my list.
I cant believe how this week is so different from last week. I truely feel happier and calm. Tomorrow nite is bunco, jive turkey, which is 70's so I need to find a tye dye tshirt to wear with jeans. Not hard. Should be so fun. I am also looking forward to 3 days off and not have to drive anywhere. Hopefully if all goes according to plan Dido and I have made plans. It all depends on Barn going out to set up camp for hunting sat nite. We are going to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch Texas Tech play. I am so excited for them. I want them to stay undefeated. Go all the way. They havent done this since 76. Thats along time, over 30 years. Its time.
Well off to have more coffee and get it in gear!

good day

Today was a good day. Work was busy but good. I actually went and worked out and it felt so good. I need to work out so I can tone up. I am happy I am maintaining what I lost but I hate being so flabby. Especially my abds.
I am off tomorrow and I am excited about that. I plan on sleeping in and working on my vehicle of cleaning it out. And some stuff around here.
I have a massage set up for 1pm w/ Rose at the hospital. I havent had one in awhile. Need it. I already have plans for the next several days to do some fun stuff. Take my mind off of being apart.
I made a decision today and I cant believe I did it but I went on match.com and decided to see what else is out there. Dont have to do anything but I am going to explore my options. I havent told a soul so now those of you who read my blog will know. I dont know what made me do it but I just need to see what options I have with out cheating. This is so hard because I love JJ so much but things are so hard being apart. Like I said time will tell where things go and so there you go.
Crazy huh?
Well off to bed. Tired. Biker dont tell anyone.

Back

I cant believe its monday nite and I am going to go to bed soon. Tired. The weekend went well. We had a nice time together. It was fun hanging with the girls. JJ and I went and picked out the pics for Sammy's gift. He picked out the picks of all of us together and pics of him and her and shekei. We then picked out the rest. He also picked out one that was of us from Cal so we could put it in a frame so he would have it at his apartment. We cooked the girls breakfast and a nice dinner and then took them to the drive-in in Scottsdale. That was so fun. We watched Role Model, hilarious, hilarious. And then the 2nd movie was Eagle Eye. Good movie but you know whats scary about that movie, it could happen. Scary Scary. Got home late and went to bed. Got up early and took them home. We didnt do our usual go to the sports bar and watch football. We got take out for breakfast and then laid in bed together and talked and caught up on much needed sex. We then took off and went to this big mall in Tempe. I broke down and bought me a playstation 2. I have wanted one for ever and it was only $69.00. I love it. I am to tired to mess with it today but this weekend I will for sure. Our time together was nice. We laughed and just enjoyed our time together. It was nice being in the moment.
He had to work last nite at midnight which sucked because we were in bed around 7.
I really enjoyed my time with him and him with me. Last week was absolutely the worse week for both of us. He was so attentive to me this weekend. He truely was so sorry about what happened Thursday and how he acted.
It was so hard getting up this am and leaving. It is harder and harder to leave and drive back up here. Time will tell but I know that I want to be with him. Lets hope by next year my house sells and if that is what is meant to be. I love him so much.
Well I hope everyone had a good weekend!

still hard

This week is continueing to be rough. Last nite was aweful. JJ came up here and we spent alittle time together and then was leaving him to hang out with his friend Timmy. We were all sitting there and JJ was becoming more upset and more stress as the night was going on. Being in Flagstaff is so difficult for him. He sees the mountain and he thinks of the woods and then he thinks of jr. So with in an hour to hour and 1/2 JJ is getting worse. We got into an argument and I left. He appologized and has appologized many times over for treating me badly. We have talked several times today and I am suppose to go to Phoenix tomorrow. I hope we can get pass this. I am thinking that when we get back from Cal at Thanksgiving I am going to tell him that we need a break. I will be working the next 2 weekends after that so that will give us a 3 week break. But I think that we need a break from each other and I want him to think about what he really wants. I dont know at times I feel like maybe he needs to be on his own with out being committed to me. So he can just do what he wants. And maybe that would be a good thing for me. I am going to see how the next couple of weeks go and if I feel that this is the case then I will tell him we need a break and time for each of us to think about what we really want and if being together is it or not. I already know what he will say is that I am being silly and that of course he wants to be with me. But you know sometimes when you are in the middle of such a horific thing that you dont know what you want and that maybe having breathing room to be on your own is a good thing. So time will tell.
I will be heart broken if we go our separate ways but you know what I am not a desperate person and have to be with someone. I defiately dont want someone who doesnt want to be with me. I know this all sounds crazy but I have to think about my future and where do I want it to be, with him or by myself to explore life more. Dont know but time will tell.

Today was easier

Today was easier but I am still sad. I found from V that a guy we should to hang out with Vincent died last week. He was only 43. He drank himself to death or at lease his liver. Then another friend of hers died this week. She had bad MS. I had met her years ago. My friend Ellie is putting her rotti down on Friday. She has cancer and is spreading. This has been a sucky week. Crazy how it all happens at once.
I did go teach 7 groups about the IV pumps we used and that went well. I was tired of repeating myself but it had it down by the 7th. Learned a few things from the other nurses who work the floors.
I got done and got some groceries and came home. Ate lunch and had a beer. I am thinking about a nap and then clean up all this mail sitting my table.
The highlight of my week will be leaving for Phoenix on Friday and getting to see my man and celebrate Sammy's birthday. I miss them big time. It will be fun hanging out with them. We are going to cook dinner at the apartment and go to the drive in near his house. And then Sunday after we drop them off will be our time. Woohoo. So all in all it will be a nice weekend. It will be good to pick them up Friday after I get there so we can sleep in on Sat. Not rush to be anywhere. Defiately want that.
The weather is warming up which is good. The last several days have been so cold.
Well off to take a nap and do some stuff around here.

Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of jr's passing. On my way to work today I dont know what was playing on the radio but I started balling and couldnt stop. I know I am tired and pms'ing and this put me over the edge. I got to work and couldnt stop crying. I felt so bad telling them I had to leave but I couldnt help anyone today. I couldnt deal with people today. I thought it would get easier with time not harder. I just cant believe its only been 4 months. Its still just so sad and aweful. I am going to lay down and try to get some rest. That didnt help that I slept like crap.
On a brighter note, I woke up to everything covered in a blanket of white. It is very beautiful. I am looking forward to being in phoenix next winter and not dealing with the cold so much.
Well off to get some rest and feel better later. This is just crazy.

PMS

Why do we have to go thru pms. I hate it. Mine hasnt been as bad lately but this week my cravings and being melancholy at times just sucks. My appetite has been so huge. My plans changed last nite. The girl from work backed out from going out with me, by that time it was getting close to the end of my shift and I was so exhausted. I decided that I needed to save money and just go get wings to go and I had beers at the house and I figured I would get the game on my tv because I have 50million channels with direct tv. No the one channel it was on I would have had to purchased. Not going to do that. I pay enough as it is for tv. So I was bummed over that and then I was bummed because I was missing JJ so badly. I started feeling sorry for myself and crying. I started thinking about jenny and her life now and how happy she is and how I want it to be my turn to have what I want. But it has to wait. Which sucks. I was in bed by 9. JJ was great at being there for me last nite on the phone which made it easier to fall asleep. But then I had such fucked up dreams. I dreamt I messed up my eye and had to have surgery and it was so wierd but so vivid. I still woke up exhausted this morning before 7 and just couldnt sleep anymore.
I have to go to work for 11am. I am hoping I get a call and they tell me there isnt much going on and I dont have to come in. I doubt it.
I am not calling JJ this morning and letting him sleep in. He is exhausted also and he said last nite his nerves were fried.
I did get up and enjoy my coffee and started watching last weeks episode of True Blood. I am half way thru and so I guess I will watch the rest. This week has been quite intense to say the lease.
Hope everyones weekend has been good.

Saturday

Here I sit at work, cluster 1st thing but much better now. The morning has already flown on by and now its lunch time. I am so tired from having such a great time after work yesterday. I didnt want to get up. Killed me when the alarm went off just because I didnt sleep well.
Go Red Raiders tonight against OSU. Looking forward to this afternoon/evening watching the game. I will probably be the only Texas Tech fan here but its alright!

Thursday Thursday

I woke up so tired, even after sleeping all nite. Robitusin helped that. I felt like I was achy and sore throat so I took robitusin cough, cold, and flu kind. But like I said I just woke up exhausted. Work went good today. Easy sneezy. Got a few patients ready and then went and did paperwork and crunch numbers. 2 hours of crunching numbers. Went to lunch, finished and was let off work an hour early. So was Dido. So we walked almost a mile and then just caught up.
I had enough energy, went to get a couple of things at the grocery store and came home and got busy. Not crazy but got a couple of things. Took out all of the trash and throwing away a pile of trash on the floor in my garage. That felt so good. Cleared out my dishwasher and sink and did a load of laundry. Nice. It felt so good to do that.
I also cooked chicken breast on the grill and made me a salad. Yummy.
I have decided that most days I need to put 15 mins into doing something. Try each day but if not most days. Tomorrow is out. Happy hour with Dido and then onto a jewelry party at one of the hairdressers from where I get my hair done. They are all very kool and fun so I am excited to get invited. Its only til 8:30 so I have time to get home and go to bed to get up for work on Sat at 7. 10 hour day, oh yea I am excited but need the money. So there you go.
Working the same on Sunday. I am hoping this girl who is coming in at 10 will switch w/ me. I want to go to Bufallo wild wings for a couple of beers and wings Sat nite so I can watch the Texas Tech game against Ok State. Its on ESPN so it will be good.
So there are my plans so far. Hope everyone will have a good weekend.

President Elect Barack Obama

What a historical time in our lives. A black president. Wow. Even though he is 1/2 black and white. I dont know if I am in shock but watching all those people in Chicago and New York and how happy they are just blew me away. Every one wants change and we need it badly. They have such hope in their eyes. We need a change and hope for our kiddo's. I was talking to my mom because she voted for him and she was saying she never thought in her life time she would see a black president. She wanted a woman president before that but she is excited about the election. I am glad Bush is gone. So in Jan it will be President Obama. wow.

Election Day!

I cant believe its election day. Amazing. I am so glad that all the advertising will be over. So tired of the commercials and phone calls big time.
I struggled over this election of who to vote for president. I stood there and kept looking at the ballot and just struggled. I really am hoping for major change because our country needs and needs to be shown as a better country. I am totally glad that Bushe's days are numbered because it is time for him to go.

I noticed its been awhile since I posted. Life has been so busy lately. Truely no time. But we made a trip out to Cal Friday after going to see the Horrorpops Thursday nite in Phoenix. It was fun but we were both so tired. Got home and sleeping by 12:30am and got up at 5:30am to head out. Not much sleep.
We got there around lunch time. Saw his parents, met his grandfather, got to see a little more of San Dimas. I have to say if I ever moved to Cal it would have to be that area, San Dimas, Glendora area. Its so quaint. I do love it. Some of the architecture goes back to the early 1900's. I could defiately live there. An hour or less to the beach. Oh yeah, plus all the mountains. Traffic, not so fun.
But anyway we spent time with his grandfather, met up with his s-i-l Lis and went to chili's. Had drinks. We had already eaten mexican food prior to that so we just went for the margaritas. Then went back to his brother's house and relaxed. His brother was still at work and so lis and the girls were there getting ready for halloween. The houuse was decorated. They did some church thing and then trick or treated in the neighborhood. They scored big time.
Sat JJ got up and saw his parents and then went on to meet w/ K's mom to go sprinkle K's ashes. Its been 3 years and so he was somewhat ready. It went smoother then he expected and easier. so I am glad for that. I on the other hand hung out w/ Lis and went out to eat, shopped, had a few beers, and went to the movies. I like her. We get along well. We saw Changeling w/ Angelina Jolie. Awesome movie. And actually they filmed part of it in San Dimas. I think the house she lived in with the porch, the police station and a couple of the main streets. Very cool to be there watching it and knowing that is where part of it took place. It was a true story. Very sad in some ways. I recommend it highly.
Anyways we went back to his brother's house and JJ got there shortly after. I got to watch The Texas Tech game and OMG it was awesome down to the last second. I am so happy that they won. Cant wait to watch a gain on Sat nite. Hopefully it will as good. His brother cooked hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill in the rain. Drank beers and just hung out.
Finally went to bed at 9 or 10pm. So tired. We park his van in the drive way and sleep in it. The bed is so comfortable. Windows open and its perfect. His other brother said why aren't you sleeping in the house. I said we have our own room. JJ loves his van. I do to. Perfect. Anyways we got up early and headed back to Phoenix and just relaxed. Used the Jacuzzi. Ordered chinese food and it was the worse. He doesnt hardly crave it and it was such a dissappointed. I told him I would treat him to good chinese food. Not crap.
He had an early wake up Monday and so I slept in, used the jacuzzi, and took a nice long shower and took my time. Got us scholtzsky's and dropped off his to him since he was till working. Love that place. Their original is still the best to me.
But anyways back to work today for the next 10 to 11 days. Yuck. I will at lease make good money. Need it.
Went for Counseling, still doing that. I am going to see her next month after Thanksgiving. She reminded me that my 6 free visits start over in Jan so I am going to take advantage of it just because of what might happen like the trial, etc. I think it will be a good thing to keep my sanity during it all and the hopefully selling my house.
I am telling you it was so hard to leave phoenix on Monday. It truely is getting harder and harder to leave. I can truely see myself living there. I know that 99% for sure it will be Phoenix and 1% change it will be the ocean. Like I said today nothing is guarenteed and anything could happen and I know that. So time will tell but I am sure hope its Phoenix.
Anway there you go, caught up! I hope everyone is well and went and voted!!!!

Thanksgiving

I am so excited. I just found out I am off From Thanksgiving day to that Monday after. Woohoo. Very cool. JJ and I had talked about going to Cal for Thanksgiving. It could happen. We will see. But I am excited for sure about us having that holiday together!

Hump Day Baby

I am so excited the week is half way over. I am off today. I pushed it to hard staying up late last nite. I feel hung over even though I didnt even have a beer.
I got my flu shot yesterday. It was actually funny watching a bunch of nurses getting their shot because the patients got to see us get stuck w/ a needle. Me and this other girl were the wimpest. It burned but today its just sore. I am working out today so I can work it out some more.
A few things I have to talk about, 1 - I Love Love Love True Blood. OMG it is addicting. The opening song is called Bad Things. One of the lines is I want to do bad things with you. It is a very sexy song. But the guy who sings it has a very deep sexy voice.
2 - Went and saw Beverly Hills Chihuahua. OMG that is fucking hilarious. I laughed so hard I cried. I recommend it to every one. If you havent laughed hard lately then go. In fact I talked JJ into us taking the girls on Sat.

I went to my counseling yesterday and I was surprized that after I sat down and said I was doing good I started just crying. It was a good session. I am going back in a couple of weeks. After I get back from Cal. She reassured me that how I am feeling is normal after what has happened. We also talked about how I am ready and getting ready to get out of here. She say that as I get rid of more stuff, things will feel lighter. I think so too.

Today is going to be a great day. I am going to work out this am. Come home and mow down the left over weeds, wild flowers in my back yard and spray weed killer. And then on the garage some more. My trash can is empty so I can empty off the shelves on the one side of the room. I did decide after next month I am getting a storage unit to start packing stuff up that I am not going to use and declutter my house more of stuff I will keep to get it ready. It will make it easier to paint and clean. Later today I am meeting up with Elly and we are going out for drinks for her birthday and then later meet up w/ Jenny and her son, Dido and B, and elly's husband and son at buffalo wild wings. Jenny leaves this Friday to move to Colorado. So it will be a fun filled day.
Tommorrow is Halloween bunco. Should be fun. And then Friday I am off to Phoenix for fun in the sun. Friday is HS football to watch Shekei and then we will bring the girls back to JJ. Spend the day with them, take them home and then its JJ and Letera's time. We are going to the casino to see show stoppers. Performers who are imitating singers. Stevie Nicks, Neil Diamond. We have the free tickets. Sunday is Football.
This week is turning out to be a great week. I am glad Need those. Hope everyone is well and doing good!

TGIFF

Not only tgif but tgiff. This week has been a tough week. I have been so sad all week. Cant shake it. They let the 2nd boy out for one thing. I started a myspace page and there is a tribute page for jr plus all of jj's family members who have pages and have all this stuff on their page about jr. It has just made me so sad and down this week. Just cant shake it. His death has affected so many and so hard. Blows me away what an impact that a 16 year old boy could have on people. Alot of people at work are pissed that they let the 2nd boy out. How does all this happen.
Just sucks.
I miss my honey so badly. He is going to sprinkle his wife's ashes, that died 3 years ago, in 2 weeks. I am going with him to Cal. It will be a quick overnite trip. I will mainly hang out with his brother and his wife that day til he gets back which who knows how long that will take and how ever long it does it does. Their will probably be a cook out and he will spend time w/ her family all day. He wants me to go but he gave me the option because he will be gone all day. I told him you know what that is fine. I dont expect him to hurry back or anything. I have a great time hanging with his brother and wife so it will be fun for me. He is finally putting closure on this part of his life. We talked about her last weekend and he truely loved her and misses her. He knows though he has to go on.
I was talking to a girl at work who is with someone who lives in Phoenix and we just talked about the whole situation. She didnt realize how good looking Jr was. I said yes he was. Very cute and handsome. I was telling her how hard this whole thing is and its hard with JJ having mood swings and how I cant take it personally. That is hard but I am a very caring understanding person. Its just hard.
Crazy!
Well this weekend I am going to clean out my garage. I mowed almost all of my property which is good. I put this broken lawnmower out on the street and put a sign that said Free to a good home and by the next morning it was gone! Good start. I have containers and boxes to go thru. I am either throwing away or donating to clear out the garage. Mine you I park in my garage but there is just some stuff I need to get rid of. So that is the goal of the weekend.
I hope all are well!

Home

I am home. It feels good. I had an awesome vacation. Relaxing and fun. Got to see several people who were friends and an old boss. Good to see my family but glad to be back in Az. It is so cold now up here in flag. It was 8 degrees the other night. I am pulling out my portable heater. Its going to warm up by the end of the week so I am not ready to turn on my heater and start increasing my gas bill. I will dress warmer. I had a fun weekend w/ jj. We had some serious talks about things and our future. It was all good. I miss him already. Crazy how that happens.
I know in my heart it will all work out.
Got up this am and drove back up the hill. It took me alittle over 2 hours to get back up here and was freezing to death. Work was good though and got off an hour early. I guess they are going to buckle down because we are slower but thats okay. It will all work out.
Now that I had my time off I am ready to get back to the grind of it all and get stuff done. Wed I am mowing the property and this weekend I am cleaning out the garage and getting rid of stuff. It will be warmer so I can handle being out there.
Anyway good to be back. I will defiately work on getting caught up on all of your blogs.

hump day

The week is zooming by. Had a great time w/ my dad at buffalo wild wings drinking beer, visiting, and watching football and baseball. Felt a little hung over the next morning. We got up tuesday and went to hobbs, nm for gambling at the casino and horse track. I mainly hung out drinking beer and betting on the horses. It was fun. Won a little money. Oh on Monday my mom and I went to see nights at Rodanth. Good love story but sad sad sad. What an tear jerker.
We then went out last night for the chinese resturant and they had sushi, crab legs, and shrimp. yummmy. This morning got to meet my with my friend S for breakfast. It was good to see her. My mom and I went shopping and then met up with her friend for lunch at my favorite mexican place, Mi tio's. they open a new one. Place is nice, margs are so good, and the food good.
So now waiting on biker to pick me up and we are going out for drinks. Good way to end the time here. It will be so good to spend time with her. Its been a while.
I get to sleep in so that will be good.
The weather has been good. Cool at night but nice during the day.
I will be happy to be back in Az tomorrow and see my man. I got sad today and cried about jr. We went to Hobby Lobby and saw the christmas stuff and it made me cry. This Christmas is going to be so hard. Dont know how I will deal with it and helping JJ thru it also. It wont be a happy time. One day at a time!

Monday Morning

Its Monday Morning and I am in Texas. Got here yesterday afternoon and it was raining and cool out. Went to dinner w/ the folks and my old boss and her husband showed up and my friend S. It was nice. We spent hours just visiting. Afterwards S and I went to the fox and hound for a beer. It was nice just hanging out and talking. Her and I are going out to breakfast on Wed morning.
I feel tired this am. JJ and I had a nice weekend together. He was glad I was with him on Friday nite at the game. He said he gets depressed when he is there because of the age group and all. Shekei did good w/ the flag. Sat we got up and took Sammy to her track meet. She did okay. We went and bought her some running shoes after wards at Big 5. The ones she has are not running shoes. Its amazing how much running around you can do for a few minutes. We were there for a total of 30 mins. Then after big 5 we dropped Shekei off and took sammy to the movies and to the mall. Then on to a birthday party on the other side of town. From there we went out to dinner and then found out that the bail was lowered to $250,000.00 $48,000 in cash and the rest collateral. The parents are getting him out. It was such a blow. It made us both sad and angry. From there we went on to the band competition and waited an hour for Shekei's band to come on for 15 mins. Then we left, headed back to the other side of Phoenix where JJ lives and we went to check out a place near by for a beer. Its a sports bar/ resturant. We were both tired so we wanted to go sit in the jacuzzi. It was working and it was hot. So we changed and went down and just relaxed. It was nice. Never hardly anyone who uses it. Just a very few.
Got up early and off to the airport and now here I am at my parents house.
Val had to go back home because her daughter's dad was in a bad accident and they were taking him off life support as val was calling me. Her daughter is pregnant. She needed to get back. made me sad for her.
So anyway my mom and I are going to the movies, my dad has a dr's appt, and then tonight I will take my dad to buffalo wild wings for football.
It will be a very low key week and I am okay with that. Back home on Thursday. Short but sweet.

VA CA

Oakcreek, Sedona, Az
I am on vacation, or vaca as Dido calls it. It started yesterday after work. Went home and packed a bag and headed down to Cottowood. He got us a nice hotel w/ an awesome view. We went to the grill/resturant/bar across the street and started out w/ onion rings and beer. As we are sitting there just talking and relaxing JJ brings up the casino that is near by. Closer then the one that we went to in Prescott. So we agreed and off we went. At 1st we were playing black jack and not doing good. Walked away and got some more money and went back. And we played the whole nite, drank beer and won money. We got back to our room at 1am. JJ had to get up at 8am. So no big deal.
I decided to drive up 89A to Flagstaff thru Sedona. It is absolutely an awesome beautiful drive. The pic above is from a camping trip to Oakcreek which is between Sedona and Flagstaff. Its a 2 lane road thru the most gorgeous area ever. Lots of trees, high rock walls, the smell is so clean. Good way to start the day.
So now I am in the process of getting things done to head out to Phoenix this afternoon. I am getting organized. Paying bills on my way thru town and then drop off the scarf. Yes I did it. I made it.
Here is a pic of it. Red and black in color. It did come out beautiful. I am excited to see how much it goes for in the auction. It looks like a boa.



Well anyway off to finish getting stuff done so I can pack. One bag for Phoenix and one bag for Tx.
I will try to still blog while I am gone. I hope everyone has a great week

Pissed Off

It was in the paper today. Hamilton is released on bond. Fucker. I am so pissed that this kid could get out of jail. Fuckin amazing. Guess we will see if the judge lowers colliers bond. This kid can be out and about til 10pm every nite. Has to stay in Flagstaff though.
JJ got so pissed today. Poor baby. I totally understand, I did to and I started tearing up several times. He has his group meeting Tuesday nite. Good!
Glad I could come back and add to my blog.
Today was difficult and crazy. Work was so busy. I did get off early and finished the scarf sitting in my car knitting away. Got to go w/ Dido to Granny's, sports bar, and had wings and a beer.
Hair appt and then home to get laundry started.
I am coming home after work and pack, not much really, Shower and dress somewhat sexy. Head on down. The place we will stay at will not be the greatest but the company is paying and so it doesnt matter. We will go out and have a wonderful evening. Just the 2 of us. Watch an Angels game and drink beer and have dinner. Perfect and then somewhere in there have some great sex. Oh yea, thats what I am talking about.
It will be our date nite.
Then the kiddo thing happens. Shekei is in the band and she performs w/ the flag. I cant wait to see her. Sat Sammy has another track meet. JJ and I will be together for all of it. Sunday he will take me to the airport and onto Tx. I go. Ready.
Anyway hope all is well. I havent forgotten about everyone. Just so busy. Will catch up when I get back!

A late day

I woke up early anyway when I set my alarm for 4:40 instead of 6am. I hate that.
Oh well. I slept good. I dont feel near as tired.
JJ is in Cottonwood for the week. I am off on Friday so if he is still there til Friday I am going to go down and hang out w/ him and come back up on Friday to get ready for Vacation. Woohoo.
I am so ready to be off and go back to Tx to see good friends and family. After all that has happened I need the love of my family and friends there. I am excited.
Well off to get ready for work.

Weekend

The weekend was good and frustrating also. We had some good quality time together but he ended up having to work Sat am. So I ended up taking Sammy to her 1st track meet. She qualified w/ the 4th grade girls at her school to go to this track meet to run. I was so proud of her. She came out 122 out of 130. She did it. I will post a pic soon. Every one had to work and so I was the only one able to take her. It was kool! I loved it.
We ended up at our favorite sports bar Friday nite and Sunday morning. Friday he didnt get done til 6pm and we both wanted some ice cold beers. And they have good beers and good service. Sat JJ's dad was in town taking a break from driving from Fed Ex and so we all went out to lunch. It was nice to see him.
I was sad to leave yesterday and my cowboys lost by 2 points. And that damn TO, which I love to hate, He is to damn cocky, couldnt fuckin catch the damn ball.
There is always next week.
Today was hard. Something happened that I dont want to go into at all. Very personal. But I thought we were close to breaking up or something. This whole thing is so frickin hard. Its so frickin gut wrenching. Its so hard. I have to hope that we will make it thru this and be able to move on and start our new book together. We both love each other and have a good thing. Time will tell.
Anway I got to go for a walk with Dido and that felt good. I didnt want to go Jazz and be inside when the weather is absolutely gorgeous. She wanted to go for a beer. Dont want the extra carbs. It goes to my abds. Not extra carbs but what ever you end up from beer. I will be drinking beer this weekend.
I am so excited I am going back to Tx this weekend. I am so looking forward to having time with parents and friends. Oh BikerCandy, Sunday after I get in at 4:30, we will all meet at Golden Corral. Not my 1st choice but because my parents will be there we will go there. I do love their food though. Have to keep things in check.
Afterwards, Shei, Vally, and who ever else are going out for drinks after somewhere. W/o the parents. So You are invited and who ever else, TamTams. So think about it.
I made me a vodka w/ V8. Got some vegies, you know. I am going to fire up the grill and cook polish saugage. I have brocolli in the freezer I can microwave to go w/ it. Yum. I will have leftovers tomorrow. Way to do it.
Off to fire up the grill. Dont like to eat late. Hope all are well.
Oh I am also knitting a scarf this week for an auction for a girl I work w/ for her daughter, to raise money towards finding a cure for Diabetes. I do make gorgeous scarfes! I will take a pic and post. So if anyone wants me to make them one and sell it Let me know!