Counseling

I get 6 free sessions a year for counseling. I called and left my name and # so I can go in and see someone.
I did talk to JJ this am. We both asked each other how we were doing, and we both said the same thing. Terrible. I did tell him that we are not in a rational state of mind to deal with this other right now. I asked him again if what he said last nite was true that it was over w/ this girl and he said yes. I said right now we need to concentrate on what we need to do for jr. I told him I will go with him to Cal for the funeral. We will be by ourselves on the drive there and back and so that will give us alot of time to talk about everything.
I just know life right now just sucks big time. I talked to my friend in phoenix and in Fl and they are both in shock over what I just found out. I talk to my old friend T in Phoenix, guy friend, and we discussed what was going on in each other's life. He said out of everybody he thought I would be the one to have a happy ending. He thinks I am the most caring wonderful person he knows. He said I have made some bad mistakes in my life. He has been to prison when he was young. But he has totally turned his life around. He says people can change when they make a mistake. He hopes that this was a one time mistake and that we can work thru this. He knows what I went thru before w/ the ex and he knows how hard this is for me. I said I dont know. This is what is so hard about the whole thing. What we have had has been so incredible and for this to have happen is just a shock. So time will tell what will happen. Biker I love you and I know you are mad right now and as my friend you should be but please understand what I have to do right now to get thru everything. I need closure on jr. I will take care of me, that is my priority and 2nd is closure w/ jr. I need JJ right now and he needs me to get thru this aweful time.