Nightmare

I had such an aweful nightmare that woke me up just balling and so upset. It was like a mixture of now and before. I was in a different house w/ a pool, I think present, and somehow I was sleeping and got woke up and there was a party of all kinds of teenagers in my back yard, and thru this whole thing Terry and Brad are in it. Past. And then somehow people I work w/ are at the party telling me they didnt know I was having such a big party and I said I didnt either, I was sleeping. Terry and Brad are looking at things that are wrong w/ the house and Terry is getting pissed over it, past. I am making everyone leave and calling the cops on the kids and discover all kinds of iv drugs and pot. Some chick comes to my house talking to me about not calling the cops. I said to bad, get out of here. But whats wierd is JJ comes into the house and says he was with Troy aikman because his wife was mad at him and so he follow him home and came back. Well all of sudden I cant keep the kids out of my house and I am asking for JJ's help and I wake up before he comes back into the room. I woke up balling. It was so vivid. Crazy. I called JJ and he says L its just a dream, you are okay. I said I know I just couldnt stop crying. I finally did, went back to sleep and woke up for work this am just really tired.

Work has actually been nice. Cant complain. I am on til 4 but dont think I will have to stay til then unless we get slammed. JJ is in Phoenix to get the girls. Wish I was with them. I asked if the girls are excited, he said Shenana isnt probably because she is going to want to talk to her boyfriend all day and wont be able to but Sammy is. I miss them so much. I am so looking forward to seeing them in 2 weeks for the weekend. We will have fun. Go see the new Johnny Depp movie.

Got off early yesterday, went to this place called the flame broiler. They make rice bowls w/ a choice of chicken, beef, and vegi's. Very healthy actually and so filling. It was so delisc. It wasnt a chinese resturant either. they only have 10 things on the menu that you can get a bowl or plate. I will have to go back there again sometime. JJ's job cancelled and so we met and went to the movies to see bucketlist. Both funny and sad. Very heavy at times. I cried. Done well. Alittle slow in the beginning. But what it does is make you think about life and how short it is and how you need to do what you really want to in this life. JJ and I hung out alittle while longer and then I went onto Jazz for just the aerobic part. He went out w/ the guys last nite and I came home. He stayed over there since he was drinking and didnt want to drive. So thats a good thing. I am so glad he has some male friends that he hangs with. Except I still have my insecurities which is so stupid. He is not Terry. Far from. I guess after over 26 years of the bullshit it just takes time to resolve this issue. And its so funny he went out with them because I told him I was going to stay home w/ the dogs last nite, otherwise we would have just hung out.

Today I am finally going to take the stuff in my car to Savers to get rid of after work. Decided on whats for dinner and then go home for the evening. Just enjoy being home and watch movies. I still need to vacumn and do some more dishes. No biggie.
I get to sleep in tomorrow. I dont have to be here til 10. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope all are having a wonderful weekend!