Mixed feelings

I cant believe the weekend is over. I am going to bed in the next hour or so. Very tired. I had such mixed feelings this weekend but I have dealt w/ them and moving on. I got my feelings hurt when I found out that that JJ's coworkers met and one of them was a girl from work that is treated like the guys. I got my feelings hurt that I wasnt invited but he didnt know. I dont know I felt like I should have been able to go but looking back and talking to my good friend in NM, she said you know it was a work thing and only people from work were there. I know and it wasnt like he was going out looking for anything. It those damn insecurities that come out. I was going to talk to him about it but decided against it because it wasnt about him, it was about me. He noticed there was something wrong when I stayed really quiet. He asked me but we were the girls and I didnt want to go into anything and then over the course of the weekend I really thought about it and came to the conclusion that I am still dealing w/ these damn feelings from prior to him and its defiately my problem to deal w/. Crazy.
We had fun w/ the girls. Took them out to eat, to the movies to see the new Narnia movie. Long but very good. Enjoyed it. JJ was so tired from the week that he fell asleep. Not his kind of movie. Then back to the hotel. The jacuzzi still is not warm on the weekends. This has happened the last several times. So we decided the next time will be at a different hotel. This is our get away w/ the girls and the reason we stayed there was so that we could have room off of the pool and jacuzzi area. Enjoy but its just not the same. We got to play Guitar Hero. The girls brought the ps 2 and the game along w/ the guitar. I suck. JJ was very good and Shekei was so good. Lots of practice. Sammy was good to. My friend Sher came by w/ her daughter and grand baby and so it was nice seeing them. Oh tried the pizza hut pasta, Yum! red sauce. Very deliscious. Today we got up or should I say, I got up early and let them sleep and I just sat in the chair and listen to my ipod. It was very peaceful and good time to think about my life and where its going. JJ woke up and looked at me and told me why didnt I wake him up, he would have gotten up w/ me. I said no, you guys were tired and I just wanted to let you all sleep. We went bowling. that was fun. Got the girls some food and took them home. JJ and I went out to lunch by ourselves. It was nice. Headed back up the road and came home. Jr was at work so we had a little more time together and then I headed home. I am just plain exhausted. I want to get a good nites sleep since I am on call tomorrow nite. He got a call from the guy he is going to be the best man at his wedding in Kentucky. His friend asked what his wedding dates name is. So its official I am going to the wedding in July in Kentucky. I feel bad about not going to Brandibells in June. I know its fine but I still wish I could do all of the above. I know that will be a beautiful wedding and she will be surrounded by so many people who love her and her fiance. The wedding in Kentucky will be a major event also. Next year I am hoping since JJ gets real vacation time that we can come back to Lubbock to visit. That is one of the plans in the future.
I have to get up at 4:30am and go to work. I am going to come home, do some stuff around here and head back into town to meet up w/ JJ. He has a softball game and I am off on Tuesday. So I am staying w/ him at his place tomorrow nite. Hopefully I wont get called in. But if I do, money made.
I am looking forward to Tuesday so I can work on my back yard more. I saw my neighbor and asked if I could borrow the tiller this next weekend so I can get things started. I am going to start buying bushes to put back there along the fence. I actually found a few that might work. They have to be planted 5 to 6 ft apart so I wont have to buy alot of them. Just several. That will help in the price of landscaping. What a difference it will make in the back yard, just doing that. One step at a time.
Anyway off to watch a little tv and go to bed.