A new day!

Today is a new day! I had a good cry last nite feeling like I have had a lost and was mourning it. I went to bed and decided I need to let it go. Nothing I can do about it. I had the wierdest dreams. The 1st one scary and wierd, cant really describe it to you. 2nd one took place in a resturant w/ Terry and Andrew McCarthy. Terry looked like from a long time ago, when we did amway, in fact he is wearing this corduroy suit he wore at one time. We are at a resturant and order breakfast and its taking forever. Its Easter. Anyway, we have to go to bed to sleep and I am trying to keep to myself in the bed but Terry is pulling me near him to hold me. We wake up and breakfast is still not ready. There is all this easter stuff ready for us w/ our names on it and they said breakfast is just taking awhile to make. Then I woke up. So anyway wierd or what.
I dont know if I mentioned it but the other day I was watching something on tv and the scene wasnt but 30 secs to a minute and it showed this couple separating and it brought me back to the day and time of our separation. It was like reliving everything over. I just cried. I talk to JJ about it and he was kind and asked if I was okay. I was and I was over it but its wierd how something can bring you back to a moment in time and those feelings that went along w/ it.

But anyway I decided this is a new day and a new beginning. Especially because I feel so much better. I am having my 1st cup of coffee for the week. I have decided that I am going to just support and be there for JJ. Ellie reminded me of how solid we are and so strong, And how he is so dedicated to me. And he is. I know he is doing this because he loves his son and he is kind hearted. So I know he has to do what he needs to do for his son to get him to age 18. So we will just work around this and get thru it. Like my mom said if I want to be w/ this man then I have to support him and be there for him. Jr will be 18 in a year and 8 months. We will figure this out. I will know that I have my own place to come back to where I have peace. So there you go. I am glad I have my blog to vent.

I am 1st call today. I will probably work today and thats okay. I need to. The wind has been blowing so hard. There are 80 mph gusts at the back of my house. Its aweful and its cold. I hate spring here. Its keeping me from being outside to work on my yard. Instead of worrying about the outside I will work inside and clean. Start in the kitchen, do laundry, and start wiping everything down. Not go crazy especially because I could be up all nite at work. At lease feel like I got something done.

This morning is the reunion show for Rock of Love 2. I have to watch it to see if the girl he picked this time will want to be w/ him and watch the other girls be stupid girls.

Hope all are well. Hope you had a wonderful time Bikercandy on your trip. Cant wait to hear about it.