Time will tell

Today starts my week of my time and what ever I choose to do with it. I didnt sleep good last nite just because JJ was on the road all nite. He left late, kept getting tired, and pulling over to nap. He is able to do it w/ the van. I wake up and call him to see how far he had gotten. He said this has been a long road trip. It will be over 10 hours. He said he knows not to travel at nite. Makes you to sleepy.
He went to court yesterday. Met him before where we just sat outside and talked. If I would have had on pants I could have gone in the court room. I didnt plan on doing that anyway and so I just went back to his place and laid on my old couch and waited on him. He was pretty angry inside. He said it took everything in him not to go over the wall and want to __ _ _ the boy/man, the mother fucker is more like it. They had cops between him and this teenager. Of course plead not guilty. There might have to be a new judge due to conflict of interest and so the araignment will have to happen again. What a long fuckin process. Crazy Crazy.
I have counseling at 11. That will be good to get the week going. Help me clear my head and think about everything also. I am going to concentrate on my back yard and land. Time to mow, clean up piles in back yard so I can see where I am at. Borrow the tiller and get the back yard tilled. I am moving forward w/ this project. I think I will go maybe today after my counselors appt and order my pavers to be delivered. I am excited about getting this going and making it look good. I did decide I need to order the black plastic to put down under the pavers and rock. I am also going to have a small area where there can be grass. I am going to order the grass they have advertised on tv as grass seeds on steroids. It will grow on concrete. Not a big area by any means. Just enough to let the dogs have an area for themselves. We have gotten so much rain that the weeds are really coming up in the back yard. Going to go get my eye drops for my allergies. Use my nettie pot to wash out my sinuses from the weeds that causes your allergies to really act up.
I hope in JJ's time as I asked of him is to really decide about us. To know for sure that he wants to be in this relationship w/ me. Or with all this going on does he need to have his freedom from a relationship right now. If he decides this I will walk away, I will be sad but I will walk away and move on by myself. I dont have a problem doing this. Did it before, I can do it again. And again I hope he chooses to be w/ me. Time will tell.
Off to get some stuff done before my appt at 11 so I am not in town along time after. I want to work in the yard. Its pretty cloudy out so hopefully it will all work out.